


The Friends Who Drink Together

by ariawrites



Series: The Friends Who Drink Together [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Captain Hook | Killian Jones & Henry Mills Friendship, Drunk Captain Hook | Killian Jones, Drunk Evil Queen | Regina Mills, Drunkenness, Evil Queen | Regina Mills & Prince "Charming" James | David Nolan Friendship, Evil Queen | Regina Mills & Snow White | Mary Margaret Blanchard Friendship, F/M, Friendship, Humour, Jealous Robin Hood, Regina Mills Captain Hook Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-16
Updated: 2015-05-16
Packaged: 2018-09-25 09:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 40,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9812594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariawrites/pseuds/ariawrites
Summary: With Marian's return to Storybrooke, and to Robin, Regina finds an overwhelming urge to shirk all duties and just get drunk. Unfortunately for her, there's a rather persistent pirate determined to be her new BFF who keeps going on about Reformed Villains sticking together. (Ok so this is after S3, I had such a head canon about Regina and Hook being friends and Robin being jealous)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So obviously I don't own these characters at all, that's all Adam and Eddie. This is my first fic in a while, I'm a bit rusty, I'm not sure how many chapters this will be, maybe one or two, we'll see how far my imagination goes, but I doubt I'll be entering in to Season 4 territory! I don't know, I just had such a strong head canon when I was rewetting the other day, of Regina and Hook being friends and him being there for her when Marian came back and Robin being ridiculously jealous. Eh.

Regina blinked open her eyes, squinting against the must have forgotten to close the curtains. She stretched and yawned, pulling herself in to a sitting position. It was going to be a lovely day, perhaps she and Robin…suddenly it all came flooding back. The Diner, Emma wanting to introduce her to someone….a small voice saying "mama"….the look on Robin's face when he said "Marian", the way he said Marian….Robin rushing to Marian and hugging her, forgetting all about Regina. She'd turned and speed walked from the Diner, spine straight, with as much dignity as she could. Then being stopped outside and being called a…..a….a monster, by Marian.

A monster she may have been, but she wasn't that person anymore, and it hurt to be branded that after so long trying to be the best she can be. Her thoughts and taken a dark turn, would she always be a monster to these people? That's all they ever seem to think of her, after all, whenever anything bad happens she's always the first suspect. People's opinions would never change, she had been fooling herself. And so on and so on. She couldn't get away fast enough, from Robin, from Marian, from Emma...from her thoughts.

Every time she thought she was finally getting her happy ending, every time she was truly happy, one Charming or another took it all away from her. She wondered if it had every occurred to these so called heroes,that all they do is take and take and take from everyone to obtain and maintain their happy endings. To keep their hero status. Emma had been warned repeatedly about changing things, but Emma thinks she knows best. She knows nothing. Only she would decide to bring someone from the past back to the present.

The old her would have been fuelled by rage, would have blasted Emma with a fireball or perhaps had her flayed alive, but the new Regina….the new Regina couldn't do that to Henry, and the new Regina just felt devastated…heartbroken. Regina had made it back to the house before she broke down crying. She had sobbed her way up the stairs, and then cried herself to sleep, a blissfully dream free sleep. Unfortunately she had to wake up sometime.

Regina flopped back on to the bed. Thinking about it, she was overdue some time off from her duties as Mayor, so she had no reason to get up. Just as Regina started to make herself comfortable again, someone started pounding on the door. "Of course…." she groaned as she heaved herself out of bed. Regina stomped down the stairs, and threw open the door. "Fantastic…the one handed wonder. I suppose you're here to make sure I won't flay your girlfriend" she sneered. Hook was leaning against the door smirking at her, "No need to be like that your majesty, you and I both know you won't do that. As one reformed villain to another, I thought you might like some company" he smiled cheerfully.

Internally sighing Regina rolled her eyes to the sky, "We are not friends, pirate" she gritted out. "Oh, but we could be, like I said….reformed villains and all that" he said as he stepped through the doorway before Regina could slam it closed. Clearly he wasn;t going to give up and Regina just didn't have any fight left in her at this point. Regina checked the time, 1pm….well it's 5 o'clock somewhere she reasoned, as she headed down the hallway towards the kitchen and the bottle of wine she had stashed in her cupboard, that she was getting the feeling she was really going to need, as Hook followed after her.

Regina flung open the cupboard and grabbed the bottle while Hook settled himself on a stool behind her. Grabbing a glass, she placed both on the table, while the pirate raised an eyebrow at her. "What?!" she snarled at him. All previous good mood feelings had vanished as soon as the memories of the previous night came crashing back and she had a headache forming. Hook cocked his head to the side and looked at her. "If you want to have a drink, there's no better drinking buddy than a pirate. I would suggest that perhaps we should first go to Granny's for a spot of lunch, then on to the Rabbit Hole? Take it from someone who's spent centuries in taverns drinking away his pain…drinking on an empty stomach will not get you far"

Regina just stared at him. "What makes you think I want a drinking buddy?"

"Because drinking alone is never any fun, and should you feel the need to talk to someone…you can talk to me! I'd never tell a soul"

Regina stared at him for a few moments, before she started to laugh, "Your girlfriend is the one responsible for any heavy drinking I might do, and you think I want to pour my heart out to her boyfriend?!" Regina guffawed, then finally started to compose herself. Hook just sighed and rolled his eyes. "Look, you and I both know you need a friend, and I like to think that we have an understanding. Like I keep saying, reformed villains together and all that, and you and I both know what it is to experience the loss of a love, we have a lot in common, don't you think it makes sense for the two of us to become mates?" Hook swallowed, his thoughts briefly straying to Milah.

Regina's slight smirk fell and she just studied his face for a moment or two, from what she could tell, he was sincere, and after their conversation on the ship in Neverland….she had to admit, the two had a few things in common. He was also, unfortunately, very right. Regina doesn't have all that many friends, and anyone she would have been inclined to talk to, where now out of the question. The pirate may be having a romance with the blasted Saviour, but she knew he was a man of his word and anything she where to, perhaps, drunkenly blurt, wouldn't go further than the two of them. Abruptly she started to stalk back down the hall, grabbing her coat as she went. "Granny's it is". Hook scrambled after her, grabbing the bottle of wine as he went. After all, it would have been a shame to waste it.


	2. Chapter 2

As Hook caught up to Regina, he used his Hook to pop the cork on the bottle of wine, before passing it to her for first swig. Taking the bottle from him, Regina had to admit….the hook had it's uses. She took a hearty swig as she stalked down the street, then another just for good measure, before passing the bottle back to the pirate.

Hook, who'd been observing the Queen's rather unladylike swigging, didn't think he'd ever seen the Queen anything less than, well….Queenly. He smirked in approval. Buried deep inside that Queenly exterior, there was a pirate waiting to get out. Or at least, a hardy drinking partner. Hook took his own swig, walking beside Regina as they made their way to Granny's Diner at a brisk pace. As they reached the entrance, Regina grabbed the bottle back from Hook, and took one last swig. She was going to need as much help as she could get when facing the towns people and their inability to subtly gossip about other citizens.

It was at that point she realised she was still in yesterdays clothes, and whatever remained of her makeup. Cursing under her breath, she waved a hand over herself, purple smoke swirling around her. She refused to be seen looking anything other than her best, no matter how she felt inside. She didn't want to admit it, but she wanted to look at least half way decent should she bump in to anyone who's opinion she actually cared about…like say, a certain thief. The smoke cleared and Regina stood with makeup perfectly done, wearing black skinny jeans, high heeled black tall boots, and a red velvet jacket with black lapels, a shorter at the back version of the one she was so fond of back in the Enchanted Forest. Regina needed a bit of the Evil Queen's confidence, and channeling her old style was the easiest way to get it.

Tucking the bottle, which had remained gripped in one hand, in to her bag, and out of sight, Regina took a deep breath and pushed the Diner door open. As expected, heads turned in her direction. She threw her shoulders back, held her head a notch higher, and glided to a booth at the back and out of the way, with Hook trailing behind her, shooting less than friendly looks at those too blatantly staring. Granny gave Regina a sympathetic smile as she passed her by on the way to the booth, and Regina nodded in acknowledgement.

Regina slid in to the booth, with Hook taking the bench opposite, and promptly opened her menu as a way to shield herself from prying eyes, rather than any need to peruse the limited options. Ruby came over to take their orders, and it wasn't long before Regina had a chicken salad sandwich and fries placed in front of her. Today was not the day for a salad, she had decided. Hook had opted for a burger, which, despite having been in this realm for some time, he was still looking at rather dubiously.

Regina hadn't even taken a bite of the sandwich when the bell to the diner tinkled, and a shiver of dread made it's way down her spine. She just had that kind of luck lately that meant that this was one of the modestly sized pool of people she didn't want to see. Absurdly she found herself genuinely hoping it was Emma entering the Diner, on her way to annoyingly justify herself again. But…..luck wasn't on her side.

She looked up.

There he was.

Robin.

Roland gripping his hand and excitedly pulling on it as he no doubt informed his father of his lengthy order. Roland was determined to try everything at Granny's and was so overwhelmed with choices, he could never decide on just one thing. He would list what he wanted, repeatedly changing his mind until Robin just picked something for him, usually whatever he actually fancied trying.

Regina allowed herself to gaze at Robin and Roland a little bit longer. Robin was smiling, he looked so happy. The reason for his happiness suddenly caught her eye. She almost hadn't spotted her standing on the other side of Robin, rather quietly. Still not used to such a strange place filled with strange people and obviously still feeling a tad overwhelmed.

Regina's stomach plummeted. The sandwich, which she was in the process of raising to her lips, dropped back to the plate. Hook looked up from his own yet to be touched meal, and immediately craned his neck around to look behind him. "Ah bollocks" he cursed under his breath. He quickly signalled to Granny, who sent Ruby to grab their plates.

Regina didn't notice any of this. She couldn't stop staring, feeling the hole in her heart tearing open. She swallowed hard, fighting back tears. When Hook grabbed her hand, she nearly jumped at the contact, then turned her gaze towards the pirate. Hook could see the swirl of emotion in Regina's eyes. "Granny's boxing up our food, why don't you slip out the back and I'll meet you there?"

Numbly, Regina nodded,slowly standing up, eyes glued to the table, her bag, anything except the happy family at the front of the diner. She then proceeded to walk swiftly towards the back entrance of Granny's, and out of the door. Once outside she leaned against the wall taking deep breaths, composing herself. Suddenly she felt ridiculous in her Evil Queen style clothing, what was she thinking? She looked ludicrous. Marian had looked naturally lovely in her simple dress and cloak, (although why Robin hadn't gotten her some modern clothes yet was beyond her. She was sure Snow and her do-gooderness would have resulted in Marian having a pile of outfits by now. Snow must be off her game.)

And here she was over doing it and trying to be something she wasn't anymore. She'd only wanted some small splash of her old confident, strong self. Was it going to be this hard to see him, to see them every single time? How could she bear this amount of pain every single time. She was a strong woman yes, but there where only so many times you could endure heart break before your spirit broke with it. As she glanced down the bottle of wine caught her eye. Ah yes. Alcohol. Magical potion indeed.

While she waited for Hook, casually leaning against the wall, she swiftly pulled the bottle out, and took a generous gulp. She'd known this venturing out in to the public business was a bad idea. Damn that stupid pirate.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! So I'm pestering you with another note to just remind everyone that this is kind of AU because Robin hasn't come to Regina's office and had the talk with her. So I've deviated from that, and it's quite probably going to be a bit more AU in other ways, I don't think I'm even going to touch the rest of season 4! Like Elsa and all that! I also wanted to say that I know I was speedy with the first update, but while this has been written up since Chapter 1, I didn't want to post until I had Chapter Four down and I struggled with it because it wouldn't do what I want! Don't even get me started on the dialogue in this scene, it gave me such a headache!

Robin had seen Regina sitting with Hook, looking rather cosy as they prepared to start their meal. He'd looked away almost immediately, but when he glanced back, Hook had his hand on Regina's and was saying something to her, and Regina was staring in to his eyes as if he was her was ridiculous, seeing as he's a pirate. At least Robin stole from the rich to give to the poor, Hook stole from everyone and anyone for himself. He'd watched her hurry out the back door, curious as to where she was going. Red really did suit her, she'd looked stunning, the jacket showing her perfect figure off and drawing his eye to her curves. When Regina was out of his sight, his eyes then tracked the pirate as he sauntered up to the counter and accepted a couple of brown paper bags from Granny. Tosser.

He slipped closer towards the pirate in an attempt to eavesdrop, inadvertently dragging Roland along with him.

"Thank you Granny, Regina and I where just observing the lovely weather, and she thought it a shame to eat inside, nothing against your fine establishment of course. We fully intend take advantage of the beautiful weather, a captivating idea don't you think?" Granny just snorted, cottoning on to the pirate's intention. "Of course, where better to have a non romantic picnic to cement our budding relationship than the docks? She loves it there almost as much as she loves me. Which is not at all, but I think I can change her mind. She's my first and only girlfriend, and I'm determined to return her to her usual self, although I'm a bit lost as to how to go about that, I've never really shown this kind of..platonic attention and care to a woman before. Anyway, nothing can brighten the mood quite like sitting by the sea with some good food and some enchanting company." he finished with a wink. Ruby just looked puzzled at his bizarre phrasing and word choice, not to mention the way he kept raising and lowering his voice, emphasising certain words…. "Mhmmm, you just keep an eye on her pirate" Granny said with a raised eyebrow and that look. The look that says "I have a crossbow and I'm trigger happy at the best of times". "I shall never again, let her out of my sight" he finished with a slight bow.

Robin had shifted as close as he dared, but he could still only make out the odd word and sentence, from what he could gather, this wasn't the first time she and Hook had met up, and they had become close, and they had…feelings, for each other. Robin had begun to feel rather angry listening to Hook calling her beautiful and captivating and bandying the word love about. Regina couldn't love the pirate, she loves him. She must love Hook like she loves a friend. Yes that was it. Although Hook certainly had feelings for Regina from what he was saying. When had that happened? She disliked the pirate intensely. He didn't even think that they talked. He was being ridiculous. Hook was clearly just describing a friendship. They where friends. Which was strange but he refused to believe any different.

Then he'd heard the words "romantic picnic" and "relationship". You don't take a friend for a romantic picnic. Robin squashed all feelings down, still firmly in denial of what he was hearing. But he still inched a little bit closer, as quietly as he could. He was clearly hearing everything all wrong, come to think of it, his hearing had been a little patchy this morning after Roland had made him test out Henry's music device, bloody awful invention. It was when he'd heard the word "girlfriend" that he finally lost some of his composure. Squeezing his free hand in to a fist and turning slightly red with rage. He didn't know much about this realm, but he'd heard some of the others use that particular term to describe their other halves, and he didn't want Hook using that word in relation to Regina. By the time he heard Hook's parting words to Granny, he'd gone numb. He felt like he'd been punched in the stomach, and when Marian had touched his arm he suddenly remembered her existence, and that Regina was no longer his business, nor who she was involved with. It still hurt though.

Robin had been glaring at the pirate the entire time, and as Hook casually meandered out of the diner Robin couldn't help his thoughts from lashing out as he watched him leave. Sodding pirate. Romantic bloody picnic. How very bloody special. Oh look at me, I'm a pirate wearing more leather than is ever appropriate, and a shirt showing an obscene amount of chest, sashaying about like I own the bloody place, wooing the ladies with my ridiculous hair and ridiculous kohl and bloody stupid accent. He doesn't even talk properly. It's MY accent, and I sound bloody better with it. Let me take you on a romantic sodding picnic, and you can gaze in to my eyes that match the bloody ocean you'll probably be seated near, while I harp on about…about….piratey…..THINGS. Tosser.

It was only when Marian shook him and called his name that he finally tore his eyes and thoughts away from Hook and turned to face her, pasting a smile on his face and reminding himself that he had his Marian back, Roland had his mother back, his family where back together and he had made a vow, and unlike that sodding pirate he was a man of honour and he had a code. A code that didn't involve drinking rum like it was his job, or at least, he was sure there must be something about rum in his stupid pirate code, it's not like there would be actual rules! Robin followed Marian to a table, smiling all the way, as he imagined stabbing the pirate with his own hook repeatedly.

As Hook talked with Granny he was aware of the outlaw listening in, and he may or may not have made sure that he got entirely the wrong impression. He couldn't help it if Robin still hadn't gotten to grips with modern terminology now could he? Emma had made him watch enough awful moving pictures to know that the word girlfriend had two meanings in this realm, easily misconstrued coming from a man's mouth however, but how was Robin, so new to this realm and without Hooks easy access to Netflix, supposed to know that girlfriend is a term also used to refer to someone's female friends. It was all in the inflection really. He smirked as he sauntered outside to find Regina rather more calm, and the wine bottle back in hand.

Regina was deep in thought, contemplating the tragedy that was the fact he was making it so hard to dislike him. He had been rather….thoughtful, saving her from an awkward encounter that would most likely have been more emotionally devastating than that mere glimpse of the happy family. It's not that she hated him, she just held a certain disdain for him due to his association with Emma and general piratical ways. She was a Queen after all, pirates are generally frowned upon by the monarchy. Although that could largely be due to the fact that he failed to do the one job she set him, kill her mother, and then there was the whole, Greg and Tamara torturing her thing that he was involved in.

On the ship to Neverland she was content to talk to someone who was, she had to admit, quite similar to her but then she'd had to watch he and Emma make heart eyes at each other, and be all cute and gag inducing, reminded her unbearably of she and Daniel and safe in the knowledge that she had no true love to do the same with and never would again thanks to the Saviours mother. Then of course, with Robin that hadn't bothered her and she'd tolerated his existence, after all he did have his uses and his relationship with Emma no longer a glaring reminder of all she had lost. Her disdain for him then was, truth be told, just a reflex. What could she say? He needed to be taken down a peg or two sometimes.

She was so lost to her thoughts that she may or may not have jumped a little when he spoke.

"Stow the wine your majesty, you won't need it for the next part of our outing." He said as he breezed past her and started to walk in the direction of the docks, looking over his shoulder to make sure she was following. Regina shoved the bottle back in her bag, grumbling under her breath as she followed him. It wasn't that she was starting to come round to the idea of being friends with the pirate, or rather, horror of horrors, starting to actually think of him as a friend, or rather someone she could talk to. No, it was just that, she really wanted the chicken salad sandwich he currently had possession of. Yes, that was it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thanks for sticking with me! So this is mostly a build up for the next chapter and as you can probably guess the angst is coming! Then the chapter after should hopefully be amusing depending on my writing skills, I'm still eyeing up the chapter fretting over the dialogue right now with half of chapter 6 written!

Regina looked at the ground, then stared back at Hook who was currently removing his shoes. "But there's a perfectly good bench just over there, and you want me to sit on the ground?" she seethed, wrinkling her nose in disdain. Honestly, she didn't actually have an issue with it, she just liked arguing with Hook and she needed to argue to remind herself and him that they. Where. Not. Friends. A fact he was well aware of. Kind of like he was aware of the fact that she'd agreed to go with him far too easily, and that most of her snark at this stage was more reflex than actually having thought or power behind it. He knew what Regina wouldn't admit. That deep down, she wanted someone to talk to, he could see it in her eyes, the words and thoughts itching to be confided, someone to be there for her. Deep down, she wanted a friend, all Hook had to do was keep pestering her, being there for her, until she gave in and decided to talk, and you know….admit that he was her friend. If you asked him, he'd been a good mate so far, with everything at the Diner.

Regina didn't know it, but she was his friend. Even if he wasn't hers yet. Hook actually didn't have any friends. He had Emma….and Emma's parents, but he didn't have any real friends. He may be fairly new to this realm but even he knew it was weird to be friends with your girlfriends father. He and Regina had some interesting conversations before Neverland, before the whole Greg and Tamara thing happened, and that's when he'd started to think she would be a good friend for him, that they understood each other, but at the time he'd been so bent on revenge he'd led her straight in to Greg and Tamara's trap.

He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he'd actually felt guilty about that almost immediately after he'd walked away. The revenge just….overrode it. Then in Neverland their conversation on the ship had reaffirmed their compatibility, but they'd been too fixed on trying to find Henry for him to focus on making friends. He could have tried to forge a friendship in the missing year, but he'd just wanted to be alone. Get back to his ship and bury his emotions under his old self. Something he was sure Regina could relate to. Then Zelena happened. All of them had been too busy to focus on anything other than the current problem at hand so he'd never gotten a chance to try and make a new friend properly.

But Regina was one of the group, one of the family and at some point he'd started to mentally classify her as his friend, despite the snark and scathing comments. He knew Regina would help him if ever he needed it, when Zelena cursed him he should have gone to her for help but he'd been too embarrassed. Isn't that what friends are? People who help you when you need it most? Although, he had to admit, being "too busy" wasn't the entire reason he hadn't made a move before, it had a lot to do with the fact that he'd helped Greg torture her and he was ashamed. The repercussions of he and Emma's trip had finally given him the shove he needed to embark on this new friendship he so dearly wanted. And Regina needed a friend now more than ever. But before he could do anything about it, there was something he had to do first and it was going to be difficult.

"If you sit on a bench then you can't do this" he said rolling his eyes, as he sat down, kicking his legs off the side of the dock and dangling his feet in the water. Regina weighed her options, argue with him a bit more, they had been arguing for over 10 minutes, at what point was it excessive, she wondered. Or, she could sit down and eat her food. And drink her wine. The rumbling of her stomach decided her. Pulling off her boots, she huffed as she plopped down next to him and splashed her feet in to the water.

Hook handed her the paper bag with her sandwich and fries in, and she once again removed the bottle of wine from her bag, placing it between them. She was momentarily saddened when she saw how near to empty it was, but then she remembered that Hook's bloodstream was 75% rum, and it needed to be regularly topped up to keep him going, and therefore he had a flask somewhere on his person at all times. A flask he didn't mind sharing with Emma. Well, if he was so determined to be friends, a real show of friendship would be handing it over when the wine ran out, and she'd tell him so.

They both ripped open their bags of food, and then proceeded to eat in companionable silence. Although Regina would refuse to admit that to anyone.

The sun shone down on them, and a lazy sea breeze occasionally washed over them. Regina watched the light play over the water as she ate. Her thoughts swirling through the events of the last day or so, wondering if anything she and Robin had, had been real if he could just….go. Leave her that quickly. But then he was the kind of man who would honour any vow he made so she shouldn't really be surprised. Henry had no problem leaving her as soon as Emma arrived, he's still always leaving her, always choosing Emma. Was she that unloveable? She supposed that's why she found it so hard to believe the pirate wanted to be her friend, why she was making this so hard for him.

She was snapped out of her thoughts by Hook clearing his throat. Seriously? Was she not allowed to think anymore? It was like he could sense when she was trying to have a thought and immediately decided to barge in on it. Stupid pirate. Further clearing of the throat, yet again, snapped Regina from her thoughts. Oh for the love of god. "What?! Do you have something stuck in your throat? Or are you not so subtly trying to get my attention?!" she snapped.

Hook flushed. "Uh….apologies, the latter your majesty. I was…um…I need to…..oh damn." He stuttered rather uncharacteristically.

Regina internally cackled. Whatever he was so worried about saying, she was not going to make it easy. That's how their friendship worked. Friendship?! Acquaintance. She meant acquaintance. The wine must be kicking in.

"Well…..spit it out, I don't have all day." She smirked.

Gathering his thoughts, Hook straightened up, turned to face her properly and spoke. "Your majesty, there's, uh, something I've been meaning to say to you for quite some time, and um, with everything going on, there's never really been a chance for me to say it, never a dull moment and all that." He paused.

What the F?!, Regina thought, out loud she decided to fluster him a little bit more. It really was so amusing watching him squirm. "Is this the part where you declare your undying love for me? Because I've gotta say you-"

"NO, God no" he blurted. Regina raised an eyebrow at him, fixing him with Her Look. "I mean, not that you're not…you know, it's just, even though Emma and I aren't on the best of terms right now, but I still..uh, oh probably shouldn't have mentioned her either….oh bollocks this is going all wrong". Regina raised her eyebrow even higher. After a few moments of watching his pathetic squirming and mumbling she decided to let him off the hook. Hah. Hook. She never failed to amuse herself.

"I'm messing with you, Hook. If you want us to be friends so badly, we should ascertain a certain level of rapport, don't you think? Friends have rapport, and jokes and other….friend stuff, after all" She watched him perk up at the use of the word "friend" and cursed herself for letting her mouth run away with her. Definitely the wine kicking in.

Hook smirked, oh she definitely wanted a friend.

"Right, well, yes. But first…..I'm sorry." He blurted. Damn, that's really not how he wanted that to come out, ignoring her raised eyebrow, he was beginning to think it was permanently in that position, he persevered.

"If we're to be friends, I cannot allow that to happen without apologising for my past behaviour. At the time all I cared about was my vengeance, and that is certainly no excuse, there is no excuse for what I did. Leading you to a trap, allowing Greg to torture you. It was reprehensible of me, and I can never apologise enough, I know. But here and now I apologise from the bottom of my heart. I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me, and I know you won't admit it, but you want a friend, someone to talk to, and I find myself also in need of a mate. We're a lot alike you and I, and I would very much like for us to be friends, your majesty" he finished, he hadn't quite planned on saying the end bit, but he couldn't seem to stop himself. He braced himself for a verbal tongue lashing from the Queen for presuming to know what she wanted. And bringing up the Greg incident.

While Hook had been talking, Regina had just sat there stunned. She had never expected to get an apology. She didn't think she'd ever received such an honest, heartfelt and sincere apology in her life. There where other people that had a lot more to apologise to her for and had never bothered to even seem to mean it. Dammit. He was right as well, she did want a friend. She was tired of being alone. Damn him. Over the course of their acquaintance he'd grown on her, like mould of course, but still, he'd grown on her. Then today, he'd given her a taste of true friendship, and his mould like growing had obviously spread to her brain. She wasn't drunk enough for this. Dammit. God help her, but it would appear Captain Hook was her…..friend. She couldn't deny it any longer, especially if he was going to look at her with those pathetic puppy eyes, honestly it was painful.

"Regina" she said quietly.

"Beg pardon" he said, confused.

"A….friend," she stumbled over the word, "would call me Regina"

Hook's face lit up with a huge smile. "I knew you'd come around…Regina. I'm irresistible." he smirked.

Regina rolled her eyes, fighting a smile. "I suppose I should start calling you by your actual name. Killian."

Hook's smirk grew larger. "My thanks. It must be said Regina, I'm rather excited to embark upon this friendship, I'm sure we'll have an adventure or two" he said.

"Mhmm, you had to make it weird. Now shut up and finish your food" she grumbled, faux irritably, as if Killian couldn't see right through it.

Smirking to himself he turned back to his food.

Finishing her meal, Regina watched the sunlight play on the water, the light refracting in to dazzling shards. She couldn't believe this was happening, God help her but Captain Hook….Killian, was her friend. If you'd told her a week ago that she'd not only have a friend, but that said friend would be the Saviours boyfriend, shed' have laughed right in the face of whoever spouted such nonsense. But now…she had a friend. It was strange saying those words. She'd never really had friends. Her friendship with Maleficent hadn't exactly been…..normal, or healthy. Let's be honest. She loathed to admit it, but she'd wanted a friend so badly, and right when she'd needed one, a willing candidate had appeared, and as hard as she'd tried to fight it, she couldn't anymore. Maybe this hero business was working.

Regina had her very own friend, one who could probably understand a whole lot better than anyone, possibly even Robin. Finally, she had someone to talk to, someone she was about to put a lot of trust in, but then as he kept harping on, pirates where an honourable bunch in their own way, and they did keep their word. He had said he wouldn't breathe a word of anything she told him, and as much as she'd been acting like her usual self, her emotions where roiling. Thoughts and feelings had been building up since last night, seeing Robin had made things worse. She felt like screaming, and there where words fighting to get out, to be confided.

You could say that shit was about to get real. Regina couldn't keep everything bottled inside anymore, the three quarters of a bottle of wine she'd consumed so far wasn't doing much for her control either. She just….needed to talk things out, give voice to her thoughts.

It would appear it's time to take her new friend for a test drive, she thought. She grimaced slightly. This was not going to be pretty. Although, if he even thought about mocking her, or laughing, or whatever. Well. She'd shove that hook so far up his ass…

The thought perked her right up.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so I'm really sorry you had to wait so long for a new update. I was going to upload on Friday, but that day I got the news that a close family member had died, and it's been a really bad few days, and I finally got my ass in gear and here we are. Due to the recent death, I haven't re-read this myself to check for mistakes and stuff.
> 
> Fair warning, another update isn't likely to be fast, I don't know when I will, I'll try to do it as soon as possible, but there's funeral planning and stuff going on and there's some whole other level of crap before we can do the funeral so yeah. It's gonna be a rough couple of weeks.
> 
> I just wanted to let you guys know and warn you to expect slower updates for the next couple of weeks. As yet I haven't even typed more for this story since I got the news so yeah.
> 
> In regards to the story...angst ahead, the next chapter should hopefully be funny, we shall see.

Killian watched Regina out of the corner of his eye, he'd seen the emotions swirling behind her eyes the entire time they'd spent together, and he knew she was in pain, he wanted her to trust him, despite being a pirate, he was quite a trustworthy person, and Regina was his friend, and he wanted to help. He knew what bottling that kind of emotion did to a person, and he didn't want that for anyone, least of all Regina. But he couldn't help unless she decided to let him in.

Regina took a deep breath, well, here goes, she thought. She decided she was just going to go for it, to say what she was thinking, what she was feeling, put it all out there and trust in this whole friendship business. It was time she started to trust someone, allow someone to help her. It was just so hard.

Regina finally broke the silence, staring straight ahead as she spoke. "You know, he didn't even try to follow me. This morning, he didn't even try to see me either. He hasn't spoken to me since last night, and I guess he doesn't really need to, we know each other well and we both talked about the loves we had lost, how we missed them, what they meant to us. What she meant to him." Hook ignored the strain in her voice, the trembling, he just pushed the bottle of wine closer to her, and let her speak, both looking out to sea. "I could see it in his eyes when he looked at me last night, the guilt, the apology. Some of it could have been for what Marian was saying, but we both know I deserved her words, but I knew as soon as I looked in to his eyes that he was going to stay with her. That he would choose her." She raised the bottle to her lips, swallowing a lump of emotion along with the wine. "It wasn't even because no-one ever chooses me, it wasn't because I'm always the last option. It was because I know him, I know how he thinks, I know he is a man of his word. He is a man who honours the promises he makes…honours his vows. There was no way he was going to choose me."

Killian swallowed hard.

Regina wiped at her face as she drank again. "My own son won't choose me. He always chooses Emma. You know he used to be scared of me? When he found out I was the Evil Queen. But by the time I proved myself to him, Emma was always his first choice. I don't think he even does it on purpose, she's just his mom and then with the year in New York. Either way I can't blame him. I am the Evil Queen. I killed and tortured hundreds of people and I loved it. I revelled in it. I was a broken woman hiding behind a mask created from pain and revenge. Sometimes, I don't know why I'm fighting to be so good. What do I ever get from it? I'm supposed to be a hero now, so where's my happy ending? Where's my dreams coming true? I try and try and try and I get nothing in return. Nothing. My son is off with Emma, forgetting about the fact that I raised him, I was there for him, and he's with Emma instead of with me. Being there for me. I know it's not his job to be there for me, but it would have been nice to have my son to keep me company last night, instead of being what I always am. Alone" Tears where pouring down her cheeks, she didn't bother to wipe them. She knew she should care that she was being this weak right in front of Killian friend or no, telling him all of this. But she couldn't stop the words and thoughts she'd pushed down for so long, from spilling out, she knew she was rambling, she just couldn't help it.

"Every single time my world is ripped apart and destroyed, I build it back, pulling myself back together and building myself back up. I'm always a little more broken, a little more damaged and I'm so tired of pretending otherwise. It's exhausting. I don't think I have any fight left in me, and I never thought I would say that. Never. I just….I've been so strong for so long, I just…I can't. I wore this stupid outfit to channel my old self, or at least her strength, her confidence. But it's not the clothes that made me her. I feel things too deeply, I reached a point, where, I could just…turn it off. Numb myself. I want so badly to do that right now. So badly. But if I do, then I'll become the Evil Queen again, and yeah I'll be strong again, I won't feel anything, but then I wouldn't be the woman Robin loved anymore, he's never seen me really be the Evil Queen, and if he did then there'd be no chance that he'd….that he'd…." she choked off a sob. Killian rummaged in his coat pockets briefly, before handing her his handkerchief. Regina hesitated before taking it.

"Part of me wants to do that, wants to feel nothing, become the Evil Queen when nothing could hurt me, where I didn't care about anything but the other part knows it'd be a waste of all my hard work, that Henry would be disappointed. Then there's this little voice reminding me that all that work has been for nothing so far, and that Henry probably expects it. They all do. Because no matter how many times I prove myself, there's always doubt, as soon as something bad happens, everyone assumes I'm the main culprit. Last night, they where probably all waiting for me to go full Evil Queen again and start blasting fireballs. I just want to give up. Stop feeling, stop caring, stop fighting. But I won't. I'll keep being Regina just to spite the Charmings and the that stupid self righteous blue fairy and everyone else who keeps looking down at me and I'll hold on to this light magic, and I'll become better than the Evil Queen and I'll do it with my heart still in my chest, I won't take the easy way out, no matter how much I want to. It's just," she sighed heavily, sniffling, "it isn't fair. I'm good. I'm not evil, I'm good".

"I know" he said softly.

"Yes, I suppose you do"

"Once you let the darkness in, it always remains, clinging on, it's a daily struggle. I feel like giving up sometimes myself. Perhaps we should make one of those support group things I saw once on this show Emma was watching?"

"You mean like AA? Villains Anonymous?" she chuckled humourlessly. "Throw in some alcohol at our 'meetings' and I'm there."

Regina drank the last of the wine, wiped under her eyes with Killians hankie and blew her nose in a rather unladylike manner. She kept forgetting that Killian himself struggled against the darkness. She wasn't alone in that battle.

"I'll hold you to that." He smiled. "And for what it's worth….I actually think your outfit is rather fetching. You should dress like it more often, much more flattering than those suits" Regina raised an eyebrow at him and he smirked.

"Thank you. At least someone thinks so" she said, a slight smile playing around her lips. Regina busied herself tidying up their rubbish.

Killian didn't have the heart to tell her that she was right about the others, that they had immediately started to worry over the fact that she would go evil again, and acted like it was only a matter of time. That they'd had no faith in her. That he'd wondered if they would treat him the same if he had been in Regina's position. Regina was wrong about Henry though, although he didn't think it would help right now, to hear all about how Henry had decided he would go to his mother's and spend the night in case she needed anything, he'd wanted to ask Granny for some ice cream to take with him, as he'd known that had always cheered Emma up. But when he'd voiced his plan, Emma had told him no, and that she didn't want Henry near Regina right now when she was clearly in danger of "relapsing" as she'd called it, and that Regina might hurt him.

He loves Emma, really he does, but he's never actually felt quite so ashamed of her before. He barely knows Regina, but even he knew Regina would never hurt her son, Evil Queen or not. He and Regina were the same, and he knew how resilient Regina was. He'd had faith that this wouldn't break her so entirely she resorted to levelling the town and killing everyone in it or whatever the Charmings where picturing. So when Emma had forbade Henry from going and listed her reasons, he'd honestly felt ashamed of her, just for a moment.

He'd told Emma of his intentions to befriend the Queen, however, Emma's response had been "Well someone needs to keep an eye on her, keep her on the wagon" and he rather thought she was under the impression that he would be following her, or acting like a guard of some sort, rather than truly being a friend. Emma had failed to notice that other than her, he was rather friendless himself and he couldn't alway be trailing after her. He'd replied rather tersely "Yes, well, we villains are constantly teetering on the brink of evil" and returned to his room at Granny's. Emma had apologised, and okayed his plan as if he needed her permission to make friends. He had told Emma that the one he needed to apologise to was Regina, but he knew she wouldn't. They where still together of course, but things where….stiff. Awkward. They weren't exactly talking.

No, Regina didn't need to know any of that. He pulled his talking device from his pocket, painstakingly typing out a text to young Henry while Regina composed herself.

"Henry, we weere right, your mother does need a friend. Operation Hooked Queen has begun. Your presence would be appreciated at her home tomorrow morning, perhaps with those magic pain pills, and some form of sustenance. Don't worry, I'll take good care of her. Killian"

Pressing send, he glanced at Regina out of the corner of his eye. Silent tears had started to fall down her cheeks again, and occasionally she kept wiping at her eyes. He very slowly put his arm around her shoulders, giving her time to pull away, and when she didn't, he pulled her body closer towards him, and started to soothingly rub her arm. Regina knew she should probably hit him with a scathing remark but it felt so nice to be comforted for once, so instead she let him continue, and slowly brought her head to rest on his shoulder. Ten minutes later she'd wiped away the last of her tears. She sniffled. Now she just felt damned awkward.

"What, pouring my heart out doesn't earn me some rum? Or is it because I'm not blonde enough?" she said, injecting some false bravado in to her voice.

"I thought you didn't do rum?" Killian replied, raising an eyebrow at her.

"I don't, but i'm out of wine and I'm willing to lower myself to your unrefined level"

Killian laughed, "Very well, I am a gentleman after all, and a gentleman is always willing to share with a lady, let alone his best friend"

Regina raised an eyebrow. "One, if you where a real gentleman, you'd have offered to share 10 minutes ago, back when I finished off the wine. A lady's glass should never be empty and all that. Two, what makes you think we're BFF's? I just said friend, you have to earn the BFF title, and you're not even close. We're like….level one."

Killian pouted, "I thought wine and emotional outpourings were a best friend activity, those bloody shows I'm made to watch made it seem that way"

"Oh for God's sake, I hate to think what she has you watching. No. Stop pouting, you're ridiculous"

"The pouting always works, give it a moment more Regina, you'll be powerless"

"Shut up and gimme the rum, or am I going to have to take it from you? Not very gentleman like"

"I am ALWAYS a gentleman, but when it comes to my rum, I am a pirate first and foremost"

"You had no problem sharing with Emma"

"That was different"

"Of course it was, it was your weird version of flirting, here, have some rum, please love me"

"Yes alright, but at least I didn't use "smells like forest" as a negative trait about someone, poor form Regina, poor form"

"SNOW TOLD YOU THAT?! God, she really can't keep her mouth shut about anything. I was flustered okay, I'm not at my most witty when I'm flustered. Rum. NOW"

"No. You've wounded me"

"Seriously? For a pirate, you are SUCH a baby"

"I'll give you the rum but only if you call me your 'BFF' as you say"

Regina started laughing. "You really are utterly ridiculous, you know that right?"

"I am, but see, now you're laughing and appear to be of a sunnier disposition"

"Okay okay, you're right, well played, congratulations, now hand over the rum"

"Not until you say the words"

Regina stared at him. "You're actually serious?"

"Deadly"

"I will not be blackmailed in to having a BFF"

"Oh I rather think you will"

"Fine. I'll go to the store and get something else to drink"

"No you won't, because going to the store would require potentially seeing Robin and his merry little family. Not to mention the Charmings and any other town folk, you and I both know you want to avoid all of them, it's why you wanted to hole up in your house."

"Please. There, look, I said please. I hardly ever say please"

"Not good enough. C'mon, it's just 5 little words. You are my best friend, just say it"

"No"

"Say it"

"NO"

"If you say it, I will not only give you my rum, but I'll go to the store and get you any alcoholic beverage you desire to drink while we wait for the Rabbit Hole to open"

"You're just…..just…so….ANNOYING."

"Wrong 5 words"

Regina huffed, folding her arms petulantly. Somehow her wanting to break the awkwardness had descended in to an utterly ridiculous argument about rum. She didn't even like rum. Before she'd just wanted a drink, now she refused to give up just on principle. She wasn't about to lose to a pirate. Although, being her only friend kind of made him her best friend to be honest, but she wasn't about to tell him that. He was sat there looking at her trying to pout and do puppy eyes at the same time and just looking as ridiculous as this conversation. He was right of course, she really didn't want to see anyone else, why couldn't she just poof…oh but she could. Regina started to laugh at her idiocy.

"What? What's so funny?" Killian frowned. He'd started off trying to cheer her up, but then found himself rather wanting the title.

"I have magic. I can just poof us more alcohol, I don't know why I didn't think of it before" she calmed down enough to say. Regina then proceeded to magic up a half bottle of Vodka for her and a half bottle of rum for him, she was nothing if not considerate.

When she was done, she turned to offer him the bottle of rum, only to see him looking at his flask of rum looking quite dejected. "oh for the love of…" she muttered under her breath, looking heavenwards, wondering what the hell was happening to her.

"You are my best friend" she said clearly, "and this is still ridiculous" she plonked the bottle of rum down in front of him, as he tucked his flask away, grinning the entire time.

They opened their respective bottles of alcohol.

"To being BFF's" Killian declared, holding his bottle aloft.

"To being BFF's" Regina repeated, mirroring his gesture. They each took a swig.

"Just, don't say BFF's again, you sound like a grandad trying to be down with the kids" she smirked.

"I'm going to let that slide because our friendship is based on arguing and snarking" Killian declared.

Regina had to laugh at that. "That is very true. You know, this day could have gone a lot worse for me, thank you"

"No thanks necessary, just doing my duty as your BFF" he said, enunciating the last word clearly.

"Oh God stop saying that" she said, taking a swig of Vodka.

As she lowered the bottle back down she realised. They might not actually make it to the Rabbit Hole. And it was as they continued to bicker about his use of the term BFF, that she realised she didn't entirely care.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So when I originally posted this on FanFiction it was like just under a year later I think? It took me that long to get back to writing this after the funeral and everything. 
> 
> I struggled to get back in to things for the one shot I had planned set in this world, and I decided to leave the one shot and start writing this chapter. I'm not going to lie, I struggled to get back in to this, but once I got going this chapter was over 4000 words so I've had to split it in to two! I've checked and checked, but there still might be some things I've missed, I'm really hoping there's not and I'm hoping this lives up to your expectations! I really don't want to let you guys down after all the support! ANYWAAAY, I believe I said things would get less angsty at some point and more fun, and I'm hoping I've started to do that here! The next chapter is the one that was fun for me to write, and I think you guys will enjoy it too! I just can't have drunk Regina and Killian being all doom and gloom and serious, there has to be some humour and a little bit of ridiculousness!

As it turns out, the pair DID make it to the Rabbit Hole, despite Regina's reservations. A few hours and a lot more alcohol later, Regina had strutted in, in her rather un mayor-like outfit, confidence restored thanks to Killian, with head held high, thanking all her years as royalty for her steady balance despite the fact she was rather tipsy. Killian on the other hand, had just swaggered in, in his usual manner. It wouldn't be the first time the residents of Storybrooke had seen him drunk, let's be honest, Regina had thought with rather less snark than usual. Oh God…..is that….NO. It's the alcohol, that's the only possible reason I could possibly put Hook, sorry, Killian and fond together. Dammit he really was brain mould. She needed another drink, she so couldn't handle emotions right now, she had thought before making a beeline for the bar.

The pair had made their way up to the bar, and been occupying two bar stools for the past three hours getting steadily drunker as the time wore on. Regina was back on the wine and had a bottle of it in front of her, while Killian was drinking his usual and it would seem he was a rather….chatty drunk. After what had happened by the water, Killian had tried to bring Robin up but Regina had made it clear that conversation was closed. Killian on the other hand…had plenty to say about things in the town, they'd already covered Grumpy the constant harbinger of doom, "The crocodile" as he insisted on referring to Rumple and a few select other townspeople. It's a good thing the pair where now friends otherwise Regina might have had to use magic to shut him up….he would make an amusing garden ornament she inwardly chuckled to herself. She tuned back in to what the pirate was rambling on about now, they'd been circling the same conversation for a while now, echoing the same sentiments from the conversation they'd had at lunch. It would appear the pirate just couldn't get over it, and Regina opening up had opened the floodgates.

"Villains this….villains that…and I'm always standing RIGHT there…I may not be a villain anymore but I WAS and they where not shy about mentioning it every chance they got. It still hurts to hear them talk that way about villains, because who knows what they thought of me? What they still think of me? Half the time it's like they bloody don't remember I was a villain but even now, when something bad happens, they always look at me sus….suspiciliously—suspic…you know what I mean! _Anyway_ then they all suddenly remember every little bad thing I've done. Like that time I accidentally got my hook stuck in a toaster, how was I supposed to know how the bloody thing worked!? Or when I destroyed the moving picture box, how was I supposed to know it wasn't some sort of dark magic here to doom us all?! They don't tell me these things, _Oh Killian will be okay, he's only been in this realm five bloody minutes but he'll figure it all out no problem_. Then as soon as I destroy something they're suddenly all oh you should have told us you didn't know how to use it, why didn't you ask us for help…WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME THEY SAW A BLOODY TOASTER OR OR OR A MOVING PICTURE BOX OR A ….OR A…..TALKING DEVICE IN THE ENCHANTED FOREST!? Anyway, Charming looks at me with his perfect bloody hair and does that squinty eye thing, looking at me as if I could be to blame despite all I've done. Honestly, after that whole incident with Zelena in the boat house and the message I'd been sent about the potion, you remember?" Regina nodded with an amused smile on her face.

"Well, after you'd left with Henry, the two Charmings insisted they hadn't sent me a message with a memory potion! Well I told them I bloody well received one, but they refused to believe me! Charming…he looked at me, gave me that look and I promise you Regina, he was looking to see if I'd miraculously sprouted wings, fur, or a monkey tail and was covering it exceedingly well. I would say they'd have noticed me turning in to a flying monkey, but you know how Charming is" He threw back the last of his drink, signalling for another. The bartender just placed the bottle in front of him.

"Yes, he's not the sharpest sword in the armoury is he? Welcome to my world pirate. Like I said earlier, every single time. It's always me. I can't even bake an apple turnover without getting the third degree. If it's not Snow then it's Emma with the talks and the checking up on me when they're really checking to see if I've finally decided to go back to being the Evil Queen. _Are you sure you're not feeling a little bit more evil today Regina? Sure you didn't accidentally curse us and take our memories again?_ You and I both know what they've been up to since last night, even if you don't have the heart to tell me" Hook winced, he should have known she'd be able to see through him as much as he can see through her. They where, after all, very alike.

"They've been worrying about me flipping the switch and going Evil Queen on the town and going on a rampage, and probably expecting me to go after Marian or Emma or everyone just because it's what they expect me to do. They've probably made a frickin schedule with shifts and teams to watch me every hour of the day, with another squad watching Marian. If I wear a little too much eyeliner or a slightly darker lipstick, they'll put whatever plan they're cooking up in to motion. They'll get that self righteous blue fairy to pelt me with her stupid sparkly dust or whatever the hell it was they used last time. I bet you 50 bucks they have some sort of contingency plan, with emergency procedures and a code name." She hissed the last part. Code names where something Henry did, it was his thing that he liked to do and he meant well. They did not, and she didn't like the thought of them using something so linked to Henry against her. Though she couldn't help but wonder if Henry would be helping them or if he'd be her one defender among the Charmings. He always chose Emma over her, always. She knew it hadn't been easy for him with the Evil Queen revelation and then finding Emma, and her being his real mom, and then all of the memories she'd given him from New York…she honestly couldn't blame him for always choosing Emma, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. She'd love it if he chose her for once, but she just….she expects him to be on the Charmings side, she guessed.

Killian, took in Regina's facial expression and strongly suspected her thoughts had turned to Henry. He knew she was right about the first part at least, it was what he hadn't wanted to tell her earlier, and she'd obviously read his silence or his facial expression, but then again…she probably hadn't needed to. The Charmings where rather reliable like that. If they had come up with any sort of plan, it had been after he'd left, and after Emma had sent Henry to his room when they'd argued about his going to see Regina. He briefly contemplated sending a message to Henry to ask him if he knew anything about a plan, if he knew the lad, he'd have been listening in to everything Emma and her parents said. The thought of trying to type on that talking device, using the very small letters made him slightly nauseous, he'd ask the lad tomorrow, he decided.

It still astounded him that after everything that had happened, they where still so quick to believe she'd undo all of her hard work, all the progress she had made, especially when he heard Regina speaking like this and like she had at the docks. When he saw the pain it all caused her. It made him question why he was bothering to do everything he was, to prove how good he was, how un-villainous he had become. He couldn't blame Regina for wanting to give up, as she'd said earlier. He thought about doing it too every time Charming gave him that suspicious look. There was nothing he could do about any of it, but try to cheer Regina up, be there for her and help her through this period in time as best he could. He did feel a bit guilty for not reassuring Regina about Henry and his loyalties though, but if he told her about the lad and his feelings, it would ruin the surprise she was in for in the morning, and would most definitely need once the alcohol had left her took another swig of his drink.

"That's what I'm saying love, one wrong move, and they assume we've gone over the edge, what was it Emma called it? Dark Side? I believe it's a reference to a moving picture?"

Regina laughed, "It's Star Wars it's a movie, the bad guy is Darth Vader and he's on the dark side, and the Jedi are on the light side and the Jedi-" Regina noticed Killian's eyes glazing over in confusion, "You know what? I'll let Henry explain it at some point." They both sipped their drinks.

"They don't understand the struggle we have with ourselves, the achievement it is that we're still good. They don't understand what it's like for us, how badly we want to do the right thing and be one of the heroes, and how much we fight for it. If they did they wouldn't assume that after all this struggling and fighting, we'd just…..give up that easily. I can't help but wonder why we work so bloody hard when they clearly don't trust us still? Emma might act like she trusts me but….does she really? We've been through so much, I've made some mistakes but…I just don't know. For all I know she could be keeping an eye on me to make sure I don't turn back to my villainous ways, and that's why she spends so much time with me." he said gloomily.

Regina snorted, "Don't be ridiculous, she's always looking at you with those eyes full of longing. Charming is your problem, my friend"

"Bloody charming with his poncey hair and his stupid sword." Killian grumbled.

"You know, you mentioned Charming an awful lot during this conversation, sure you're not with the wrong member of that family?" Regina smirked.

"What do you mean?" he squinted at her, he was fairly certain there'd only been one Regina when he'd sat down.

"Well you know what they say, when you're in love with someone you just can't stop talking about them…." she would never get tired of winding him up, besides this conversation had gone downhill fast, and after pouring her heart out earlier, she wasn't in the mood for all this doom and gloom crap. She wanted to have fun.

Killian spat out the mouthful of drink he'd just taken, "YOU…WHAT!? Me?! Dave!?"

"Ooooohhh so it's Dave now? Not Charming? It's okay, we're friends now, best friends as you insisted upon! And best friends tell each other EVERYTHING" She cackled. She actually cackled. Maybe she should stop drinking now, she thought as she grabbed on to the bar for dear life when everything started moving.

Killian didn't respond, he was just opening and closing his mouth like a fish, with the most comically horrified expression on his face. Regina laughed out loud, a full bellied laugh and Killian had to smile at the fact he'd managed to achieve that. He had a friend and he'd made that friend laugh. They where a far cry from where they'd been not long ago, crying on a dockside about the woeful state of her love life. It was at that point that a new song started to play throughout the bar, and the opening caught Killian's attention, not only was it catchy, but the lyrics where oddly appropriate.

_**There's gotta be another way out, I've been stuck in a cage with my doubt, I've tried forever getting out on my own. Every time I do this my way, I get caught in the lies of the enemy, I lay my troubles down I'm ready for you now. Break me out, come and fine me in the dark now, every day by myself I'm breaking down. I don't wanna fight alone anymore.** _


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's part two of the previous chapter, I figure you all might need it after everything! I was getting back in to the flow of things at this point, and I may have gotten too in to it and gone a bit overboard...sorry! Hope you like it anyway!

Killian found himself bobbing along on his stool to the beat of the song currently playing in the Rabbit Hole. "You know Regina, the music of this realm is vastly different from the Enchanted Forest, but I find I quite like it. All except for that music they had in New York, the bangy music with no proper singing….oh and the kind where they just say a lot or words really fast….oh and-"

"Oh my God, stop talking. You mean dubstep right?! And rap? You really are like a grandpa trying to fit in with his grandkids" Regina snorted.

"HEY! It's not my fault I've not properly adapted to this world, when would I have had the time between Neverland and then going back to that sodding forest?!" he protested.

Regina sighed, thunking her head down on the bar. "I'm gonna have to teach you aren't I? Oh God"

"Emma's been teaching me actually, I know how to Netflix all by myself, thank you very much your majesty and I've recently mastered texting on that little talking device-"

Regina cut him off by laughing, "Rather her than me, if you still can't call it a phone!"

Killian had been about to retort but he'd spotted one of Robin's men and then the man himself slinking in to the Rabbit Hole. He watched as Robin's man started talking to him, leaning in to be heard over the music. When the man gestured over at he and Regina, Killian new that this man had obviously sent word of the Queen's whereabouts and activities to his leader. What a bloody cheek! Slinking out of his…his….come to think of it, did he dwell in a tent or just sleep on the forest floor? At one with nature and all that bollocks? He'd have to ask Regina when she was a bit drunker and less likely to slightly char him. She wouldn't burn a friend of course, but what's a little light charring?! She'd said when he'd tried to get her talking about Robin again when they'd arrived. Killian couldn't believe Robin had left his camp, and his wife to come and spy on Regina. He knew the man was in love with her and that his wife being back hadn't made a damn bit of difference, but he'd followed his code and hurt Regina. Killian wouldn't stand for his new friend being hurt again by this thief playing with her emotions. It was clear Robin was here to spy on her and Killian had to make sure Regina didn't find out. Luckily for him, the next song had started playing and Regina seemed to like it.

As the opening chords started playing, Regina leaped off her bar stool, wobbled a little bit, regained her balance, then grabbed Killian by the sleeve with one hand and her wine with the other. She then proceeded to drag Killian, who hastily managed to grab his bottle of rum, over to where some other patrons where dancing. As they hit the makeshift dance-floor Regina whirled around to face him, pointed at him and started to sing along. At this point Killian had recognised the song, he'd heard Henry playing it a few times, the boy really was a god send, and had a basic grasp of the lyrics.

"You and meeeeee and a bottle of wiiiiinnnneeeeeee" Regina pointed at the wine, "gonna hold you toniiiiggghhhtttt" she sang while trying to look as sultry as she could when incredibly drunk. Killian chuckled and it turned in to a full blown laugh when he saw the look on Robin's face. He looked like he'd had the swift punch to the face Killian had been itching to give him since he'd seen him walk in, things had just gotten very interesting. Before he could smirk at Robin, Regina grabbed his attention again.

"So take this wiiinnnee, and drink with me. Let's delay our miserrrrrrryyyyyyyy" they both let out loud laughs, before both singing "Save tonight, and fight the break of daaaaawwwwnnnn. Come tomorrrroowwww, tomorrow I'll be gone, Saaaaaaveee tonight, and fight the break of dawn, come tomorrow, tomorrow I'll be goooonneee". It wasn't long before Killian had forgotten about Robins presence and was focused on simply having fun with Regina, as the pair danced as best as they could in their condition, and sang along. Well sang in Regina's case, stumbled along as best he could in Killian's. The only part of the song he really knew was the chorus, but that didn't stop him from trying to sing, as the pair over dramatically sang to each other. As the song came to an end the pair collapsed in to drunken giggles, oblivious to the look of outrage on Robin's face.

Fast forward another hour, and Regina and Killian had stumbled through an Adele song, Go Your Own Way which appeared to be a favourite of Killian's, a Queen song that Killian had insisted they dance to because of Regina's title. Regina had decided she didn't want to know which Charming had taught him all the words to Bohemian Rhapsody, although she had to admit they'd pulled it off quite well for drunks. Stand and Deliver because Killian insisted he had been a highwayman of sorts during the missing year. They had taken a quick break for Once In A Lifetime because Killian had found the song strange, so Regina had made a point of singing the entire song to him as over dramatically as she could.

Regina, rather drunk at this stage, had then hauled Killian back to the dance-floor for Gimme Gimme Gimme, and proceeded to sing along to it while beckoning to him and pointing at him for every chorus. Killian would have been embarrassed to have Regina drunkenly screeching "Gimme gimme gimme a man after midniiiiiiighttttt, won't somebody help me chase these shadows awaaaaaaaayyyy" while pouting and crooking her finger at him, if he wasn't so incredibly drunk as well, and if he didn't enjoy Robin's anger so much, so he had played along. Things had then taken a darker turn as Regina had let her anger out when singing along to It's Not Me It's You, growling "It's not me it's you, always has been you, all the lies and stupid things you say and do, it's you" and looking rather menacing, while flexing her fingers, so Killian had made her sit down and plied her with more wine until the song ended.

Things picked up again as Killian rather enjoyed Hungry Like The Wolf and kept shouting at Ruby, "THIS IS YOUR SONG LOVE", until it looked like Ruby was going to come over and strangle him. The other dancers had given them extremely funny looks when Regina had sung "Here I go again on my ooowwwwnnn, going down the only road I've ever knooowwwn, like a drifter I was born to walk alllooonneee" with a worrying amount of drunken emotion, while clutching on to Killian. Killian had made direct eye contact with Robin and smirked. There had nearly been an incident when A Drop In The Ocean was played, and Regina had found herself getting ridiculously upset. The next thing she knew Killian was waving his hook around dangerously close to the DJ's artery until he changed the song and Regina had dragged Killian away.

They'd made it through Pour Some Sugar on me with no problems. Regina had belted out Ironic, while Killian tried to understand the song and sing along at the same time, which resulted in Regina laughing so hard at his facial expression that she couldn't sing properly for most of the song. When he'd finally voiced his confusion and started to question the lyrics, he'd asked what chardonnay was so Regina had promptly shoved her bottle at him, then snatched it back before he could try it when the song had crooned out "It's meeting the man of my dreams, and then meeting his beautiful wife". She'd scowled and started muttering about how Marian wasn't that beautiful and how she'd been dressed in rags for Gods sake. Killian had sagely nodded along with her. None of those songs where their downfall, oh no.

After Ironic there had been no songs to suit their mood, so Regina had then made perhaps one of the biggest mistakes of her life when she had requested a song that Henry had found amusing, and shown her. She'd thought it would be amusing for Killian to hear it. She hadn't realised that Henry had shown the same song to Killian at some point and taught him the lyrics, so she hadn't been expecting his sudden exuberance as he started to sing with her.

"Do what you want cos a pirate is freeeeee, you are a pirate!" She'd pointed dramatically at Killian, "Yar har, fiddle dee, being a pirate is alright with me" she'd pointed at herself, "do what you want cos a pirate is free, you are a pirate" she'd pointed back at him again, smiling at the look of joy on his face, she assumed, at a pirate related song. Her smile had turned to an expression of horror as he started bouncing around surprisingly well considering the amount of alcohol he had consumed at this point, and had sung back to her with the most amount of enthusiasm so far, "Yo ho ahoy and avast, being a pirate is really badass" and then he was off for the entire song, while Regina had stood there a dumbfounded expression on her face. It was "badass" that did it, she never thought she'd hear a word like that come out the pirates mouth, and after that she'd laughed the entire way through his rendition, singing whenever he pointed at her. The Pirate Song was their undoing, it would seem.

Regina and Killian where still laughing when the opening chords of Iris started to play, Regina happened to like the song and Killian happened to have heard it multiple times courtesy of Emma and so was familiar with the lyrics. Regina looked at Killian. Killian looked at Regina. They took a swig from their respective bottles, threw their arms wide and both screeched at each other, "AND I'D GIIIVVEEE UP FOREVEEEEERRR TO TOUCH YOU COS I KNOOOWWWWW THAAATTT-"

"OUT. NOW." Regina felt a hand clamp down on her upper arm and saw the intruders other hand clamp down on Killian's upper arm. The one without the hook she noticed. She couldn't say she blamed the intruder, he was drunk enough that he'd quite possibly cause some damage without meaning to. Regina's gaze travelled up to the intruders face.

Oh.

She was looking in to the face of the owner of the Rabbit Hole and he did not look happy. Regina and Killian both tried to speak at once.

"But-"

"Don't you know who-"

"SAVE IT. OUT. You're scaring the other patrons with the emotional outbursts, screeching and….whatever this is" he then mimicked their "dancing" stumbling about and flailing his arms about. "You two are done for the night"

Killian clutched his bottle to his chest, and Regina raised an eyebrow.

"What? I paid good money for this, I'll drink the whole bloody thing" he hugged it to his chest. Regina and the bar owner both rolled their eyes.

"You can keep your bottles, just leave now, for the love of God"

Regina mustered her fiercest scowl, but considering how drunk she was, she suspected it didn't have the desired effect, before sweeping out of The Rabbit Hole without a backward glance, and without realising that Robin, who had been watching her all evening and experiencing a range of varying emotions, had gotten up to quietly follow them out.

Killian, who'd soon forgotten all about Robins presence, was too busy cradling his bottle of rum to notice the thief either. As they stepped in to the cool night air, Killian started to laugh and it wasn't long before Regina was joining in as well. Killian was surprised when she stopped laughing, grabbed his arm, looked him dead in the eyes and said, as sincerely as she could, "Thank you Killian. I had fun tonight instead of sitting at home, alone, wallowing in my despair, it wouldn't have been pretty and it wouldn't have been as enjoyable as this. In fact I don't think I've had this much fun in a very long time" then she gave him a genuine smile.

Killian blinked at her, squinted a bit. "You're very welcome Regina. All three of you. Couldn't have you locked in doors watching those sad moving pictures on Netflix, could we? Like those women in Emma's moving picture…." he trailed off as he saw Regina's eyebrow raised in amusement. He chuckled, "Besides….I knew you'd make a good pirate" he winked.

They both started to laugh again, and Killian offered Regina his arm, "Home, your majesty?"

"Indeed, pirate" and Killian smiled as Regina took his arm, and leaning on each other they started to stumble their way to Regina's house. In the wrong direction. Twice.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Robin's jealousy knows no bounds.

Robin was furious. He'd been at the camp with Marian, Roland and the Merry Men when Will had come rushing in to the clearing asking to speak to him. As it turned out, Will had gone to the Rabbit Hole for a late drink or two, he'd been sitting there slowly sipping at his beer when he'd finally spotted Regina with the pirate. He'd debated about whether or not he should tell Robin, he'd just gotten back in with him and the Merry Men and he didn't fancy being the messenger that was likely to get shot with an arrow straight through the eye. But he'd decided Robin might want to know, so he'd finally left and come back to the camp. Robin fumed as he remembered the words will had used.

"Looked right chummy they did mate, all laughing and talking. Think they where sharin' their life stories or somethin' at one point, then they where talkin' about how the pirate's getting used to this realms devices and stuff, he was mentioning moving pictures when I went past, reckon he's been on Netflix or somethin'. Regina did mention Star Wars, but that aint on Netflix…." "Will you focus!?" Robin had snapped, startling Will out of whatever reverie he'd fallen in to, Will had looked up at him and said "But they looked proper cozy sittin' on those bar stools, leaning in to whisper to each other, reckon they'll be there a while, I think they're too drunk to move" Will had smirked.

Robin had scowled remembering what he'd overheard Hook saying. He'd been in a bad mood ever since although he'd tried to hide it but he couldn't help but imagine the two of them on their romantic picnic, with Hook saying whatever piratey things he says to get the ladies to fall all over him, touching Regina with his be-ringed hands. _I mean honestly, why does he need to wear so much jewellery? Surely it'd weigh him down if he where to, accidentally of course, fall in to the sea? He's probably whispering a load of piratey bollocks in to her ear, while she stares in to his stupid racoon eyes. Never catch me wearing kohl. Honestly. What man wears women's makeup?!_

Robin had been fighting himself all day. Just because Marian had come back, didn't mean he loved Regina any less and it hurt to think of her already involved with another man, and a pirate no less. He'd thought she barely tolerated the pirates presence. As what Will had said sunk in, Robin got even angrier. _Typical pirate, can't even woo a lady properly. Had to take her to this realms version of a tavern. How cliche. Probably has to get Regina drunk to-_ he cut off the highly unpleasant thought, the rage nearly blinding him.

How dare that pirate get his Regina drunk. How dare he. Robin had stuck to his code. It didn't matter if he still loved Regina, he had a wife, a wife who had come back. She may be acting strangely, and not like herself, but that was to be expected wasn't it? She'd been through an ordeal. Robin didn't even care that Marian had been in Regina's dungeon, he felt bad about it, but he didn't. The Evil Queen was an entirely different person to Regina and he refused to blame his Regina for the events of the past. She had changed. She didn't need to be hanging around with that filthy pirate. She could do so much better. _Yes, like a thief who doesn't wear his riches on his person._ He shook the thought away. It wasn't fair to Marian, but he just couldn't let Regina go. No….he could. He just didn't want it to be with that bloody awful pirate. He had told Marian he was going for a drink with Will, grabbed said man by the arm and started hauling him out of the woods as fast as he could. Once they'd made it to the Rabbit Hole, Robin asked Will where he had last seen them, and Will had told him the pair had been over at the bar "Lookin' proper cosy, like I said mate" Will had repeated, slightly drunk still despite the trek to and from the camp. "Yes, _where_ at the bar?" Will had pointed and then Robin had seen them.

They had indeed looked very friendly with each other, Regina's expression had been unguarded and open. She'd looked happy. Robin hated himself for being sad that she was happy. It had only been a second or two, but he hated himself all the same. He had his wife back, he should want Regina to be happy too, he loved her. Just not with the pirate. The pirate who had definitely spotted them and was glaring in their direction, until he had to stop because Regina had started to pull him over to where some other patrons where dancing. Although it wasn't any kind of dancing he'd seen before. He'd focused back on Regina and Hook. Then he wished he hadn't as Regina had pointed at the pirate and started singing to him about sharing wine and holding each other that night. He felt like he'd been gutted. It wasn't too long ago Regina had been sharing wine with him. When she'd told him all about how he was her soul mate. Robin couldn't believe he'd forgotten that little detail. But it couldn't change anything, he had to stay with his wife it was his duty.

He'd watched as the bloody pirate actually sang along with her. _When did he have time to learn the songs from this realm!? I thought he was too busy brooding and….and…..land pirating._ Regina was dancing with the pirate, and she was laughing and she looked so happy. She only ever looked that him happy when she was with Henry or himself, and now that bloody pirate was making her that happy too? "Must have quite the connection if she's that happy already, sorry mate, it's bloody shit for ya" Robin had levelled Will with a vicious scowl before Will had slunk off to the bar. Robin had turned back to the pair, he'd keep an eye on Regina and make sure that pirate didn't do anything he shouldn't. Robin stood there watching everything. Watching Regina and Hook laugh, and dance and sing to each other and he'd felt his anger build up more and more. Every time the pirate laid a hand on her, smiled at her, sang to her about rolling in something deep. The pirate appeared to favour the next song as he enthusiastically sang to Regina about how loving her wasn't the right thing to do and how he would give her the world while Regina had laughed, that glorious full laugh of hers before dancing about, completely carefree before singing the chorus together. Robin had wanted to give her the world.

_Sodding pirate. Oh look at me with my typical piratey beverage of choice, swaggering around and showing off my knowledge of this realms musical stylings. Aren't I bloody brilliant, singing along with you because I'm so up to date with this realm. Gaze in to my eyes, smeared with black makeup to make me look like even more of a ponce while I screech at you in an awfully off key voice. Let me woo you with my rum breath while I speak sweet piratey nothings in to your ear. Aren't I a bloody gentleman. Well. If I had the time, I too would be up to date with this realm. I would be able to sing with Regina. Some of us have sons to look after, men to lead. Some of us are good, upstanding members of society. We don't all have time to sit around doing…whatever it is he does._

He'd watched as the pirate had convinced her to sing to a song that no drunk should ever sing. Ever. They had seemed to enjoy themselves in the beginning dramatically singing about killing a man. He'd smirked, he knew the pirate was a bad influence. He'd winced as they'd wailed "Mama", he'd felt his heart crack as Regina had sung "Sometimes I wish I'd never been born at all", he'd smirked at the pirates stupid dancing. _Honestly, he thinks he's so bloody good looking, such a catch and he can't even dance. My dancing skills are far superior._ Robin had stopped smirking as the pair started singing along again. He said singing…he meant screeching incredibly out of tune.

"There should be laws stopping drunks from singing this bloody song. Murder it every soddin' time" Will had chimed in placing a pint in front of Robin. They'd winced in unison as the screeching went on, laughed at the pirates dancing, and Robin had smiled at Regina prancing around, laughing and enjoying herself..until he remembered she was with the pirate. He'd rolled his eyes when the pirate had made her dance to that highwayman song. _Thinks he's a highwayman now? Bloody pirate can't even stick to one profession. Has to have them all doesn't he. Can't stick to his bloody sea._

The pirate hadn't seemed to want to dance to the next song, Robin would have said he could see why but refused to agree on anything with the pirate. He'd watched as they sat down at the bar and Regina had sung to the pirate, gesturing to herself as she'd sung "with a beautiful wife" and he'd clenched his hand so hard around his glass it had nearly cracked. "Bloody weird song this mate" Will had commented.

"I don't need your running commentary" Robin had snapped.

"Just trying to make conversation, tension's bloody suffocating" Robin scowled at him. Will had just shrugged and Robin was fairly certain mumbled "touchy" under his breath.

It was the next song that had Robin feeling rage like he'd never felt before. Regina had dragged the pirate to dance to an upbeat song, and he'd watched as Regina had sung at him, pointing at him and crooking her finger at him. Watched as she'd sung to him about wanting a man, wanting someone to hear her prayers and help her chase her shadows away and take her through the darkness. The pointing and finger crooking made it obvious she wanted that man to be Hook. And Hook had seemed rather eager for the job as he'd smirked at her, raising that bloody eyebrow of his, and swaggered closer to her, dancing close to her. _That bloody eyebrow. Can't he control the sodding thing!? I should be the one helping her through the darkness, it should be me not…not….Captain bloody smirks-a-lot. Fat lot of good he'll be._ Robin had silently raged. Knowing the pirate was enjoying his anger but unable to calm himself. "Catchy song this in't it mate?"

Robin had turned and given Will a dark enough look that he'd gulped, raised his hands and sat back in his chair.

Regina's happiness had melted away with the next song and Robin had felt a stab to the chest as she'd sung along. " _Let's get the story straight, you where a poison, you flooded through my veins, you left me broken_." The other patrons had shied away a bit at the look of menace on her face as she'd sung, but Robin knew her and he could see the pain in her eyes. The pain that he had put there. He was the one that had left her broken after everything he'd said. The pirate had scowled at Robin before gently taking Regina by the arm and sitting her down with a fresh drink until the song had ended. The two whispering to each other occasionally throughout the rest of the song.

"Waddid I tell you about the whispering?!" Will had exclaimed.

Robin didn't react because while he couldn't hear what was being said, he knew what the pirate was doing. The pirate was doing his job. Comforting Regina. Comforting her because he had caused her the intense pain he had seen in her eyes. The pain he'd put her through, like the song said. His spirits had lifted watching the pirate make an imbecile of himself singing along to a wolf song and baiting the she-wolf from the Diner. _C'mon Ruby, don't let me down, eat the bloody pirate. Or at least gore him a little bit. Preferably on the face, won't look so bloody handsome then will he. I mean….not as handsome as the ladies claim._

He'd watched Regina singing about being alone again, while clinging on to the pirate for dear life, and that bastard of a pirate had looked right at him and smirked as he'd whispered soothing words in Regina's ear and rubbed her back. Robin had wanted to walk over and snatch his hand away but he didn't want to alert Regina to his presence. Regina appeared to get quite upset as a song about praying two people would end up together and in typical pirate fashion, Hook had gone straight to violence, waving his namesake about. _See, bad influence. Surely everyone can see that._ Robin had smirked at Regina's annoyance at the pirate until she'd rolled her eyes at him and started to laugh. Robin seethed. _Oh look at me, waving my bloody hook about like a maniac, aren't I so funny and gallant. It's not like I couldn't gore someone to death with my negligence._

He'd watched Regina singing to a song about pouring sugar on oneself while the pair had danced. He didn't know what "getting it on" meant but he was fairly certain he didn't want it to occur between the two. He'd have been angrier in truth, but his rage had quailed at his confusion. _Why would someone wish to pour white granules over themselves? It can't be pleasant. Itchy. I would imagine_. Robin's anger spiked back up when he found himself just as confused as the pirate when listening to the song. He'd winced and looked away when there'd been mention of meeting a man of your dreams and then meeting his wife. He couldn't look at Regina in that moment. He was Regina's soul mate, and she'd already lost her true love. Not long after finding that out, her finally admitting to him what he was to her, something she must have have trepidation over doing considering what happened to Daniel, how wary she must be of getting close to men….his wife had shown up and he'd let her walk away. He hadn't come to see her or talk to her. He'd just been so busy with Marian but it wasn't a good enough excuse. He knew that. He doubted she wanted him anywhere near her now anyway.

The pair seemed to want a break at that point, as they'd sat close together, talking about who knew what. They just looked so….close. He was angry Regina had lowered herself to spending time with a pirate, angry that she wasn't laughing and joking with him, singing with him but with that pirate. Imagine his incredulity when Regina started singing to him, praising his piratical ways. Surely a Queen shouldn't be condoning piracy? He had laughed at Regina's expression when Hook had started singing along to her evident surprise. _Oh Regina, what have you unleashed._ He had smiled in to his drink. Then hurriedly downed it as the pair where finally chucked out.

"Surprised they made it past that Queen song, should have been banned for life for subjecting us all to that"

"Do shut up for five minutes, Will" Robin said as he had peered around the corner, trying to hear what Regina and the pirate where saying. He'd been surprised when Regina had genuinely thanked the pirate, and saddened when he'd heard how Regina would have spent her evening, all because of him.

"Think you're turning a bit green mate" Will had commented when the two had heard Regina saying she hadn't had that much fun in a long time. Regina should have been having fun with him. She should have. But she wasn't because he had chosen duty and his code. He had to admit to himself, things weren't right with Marian. He loved Regina. But he couldn't abandon Marian to a world she knew nothing about. Couldn't leave her. But he didn't think he could live with the pain he was causing her. He didn't know what to do, he was angry and jealous and heartbroken all at once. Nothing to what Regina felt, he was sure. He had stumbled back out of his thoughts in time to hear the pirate talking about some Netflix thing, before asking if they should go home. Home. He had called Regina's house…home. Used the words we and home in the same sentence. As if he was going to be staying there. As if it was his home too. Yes. Robin was furious.

 _Ooooohhh look at me, I know what a Netflix is. I….I'm…..I….BLOODY PIRATE._ Robin was scowling so hard his face hurt. His teeth clenched. As he started dragging Will after them. _Going home are they? Well. We'll see about that._

"Will, use your magic box and summon Sheriff Swan" he growled. He would not let that pirate set foot in Regina's house, at night, with her so drunk. He would not.


	9. Chapter 9

Regina wasn't sure if she was supporting Killian or he was supporting her. Once they'd finally worked out the correct direction to go in to get to Regina's house, they'd started to stumble along, but it wasn't long before they'd had to grab on to each other to stop themselves or each other from falling over. As they where making their way back towards the mansion, Killian started to hum Iris. A few minutes later, Regina joined in. Soon they where both humming along and then they caught each others eye.

"We did get interrupted before our stunning finale…" Killian trailed off.

"It would be a shame to leave it unfinished…." Regina looked at Killian, Killian looked at Regina. They both looked around, noting the deserted streets and lack of people to complain. They grinned at each other, taking swigs from their respective bottles before clearing their throats dramatically. Then with their arms around each others shoulders as they staggered home, they started to "sing".

"AND I'D GIVE UP FOREVER TO TOUCH YOUUUUUUU, COS I KNOW THAT YOU FEEEEELLLLL ME SOME HOOOOWWWW, YOU'RE THE CLOSEST TO HEAVEN THAT I'LL EVER BE, AND I DON'T WANNA GO HOME RIGHT NOOOOWWWWWWWW"

"But we are going home, are we not?" Killian slurred.

"Yeah, because we got kicked out of the Rabbit Hole and I didn't have the foresight to create more than one bar in this crappy town" Regina grumbled. "WAIT, DID YOU CALL MY HOUSE YOUR HOME!? Don't get any ideas pirate" she growled menacingly. But Killian merely started to sing again, trying his best to give her puppy dog eyes in his drunken state.

"AND ALL I CAN TASTE IS THIS MOMENT, AND ALL I CAN BREATHE IS YOUR LIFE. AND SOONER OR LATER IT'S OVER I JUST DON'T WANNA MISS YOU TONIIIIIGGHHHTT"

"Why the hell are you sining that at me?!" Regina laughed, and Killian just smirked, and shrugged. They both launched in to the next part together. Swaying as they staggered along.

" AND I DON'T WANT THE WORLD TO SEE MEEEEEEEEEE" they covered their faces with their hands, although it didn't work too well considering they where clutching their bottles in said hands, "COS I DON'T THINK THAT THEY'D UNDERSTAAAAAAND. WHEN EVERYTHING'S MADE TO BE BROKEEENN, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW WHO I AAAAAAAMMMMMMM" they sang while pointing at each other.

They where a block away from Regina's mansion when Emma finally caught up to them. She had to fight the urge to laugh at the spectacle they made, staggering down the street, arms thrown around each other, bottles being waved from side to side as they belted out Iris…badly. It wasn't hard when she remembered why she was there. This was not going to be good. "Stop right there. Bottles down" she called out.

"Noooo not my rum" Killian cried as he clutched it to his chest, Regina rolling her eyes but doing the same with her bottle.

"Sheriff Swan. What can we do for you" Regina tried to sound as formal as she could, while seeing multiple Emma's wavering in front of her like some sort of waking nightmare.

"Emma? Is it really? Can't quite see straight right now, sorry love" Emma gave him The Look. Killian was unconcerned, probably because he was crooning to his bottle of rum and not paying any attention.

"I had a call about the two of you. I'm supposed to be arresting you for being drunk and disorderly in a public place, but looking at the state of the two of you, I think I'll let it slide this time. For once I don't think either of you mean any harm"

"What is that supposed to mean Miss Swan?" Regina said indignantly. "The only one around here causing any harm is you, with your thoughtlessness. I would have thought you knew better, surely you've seen Back To The Future, but evidently, as usual, you thought you knew better" Regina sneered. _Did I just cite a movie about a time travelling car as a source of knowledge? Damn wine._ Emma was frowning at her, and Regina wasn't sure if it was in confusion at what she'd just said or in general distaste. "Don't worry, it's impossible to use magic when you're this drunk, your precious town is safe"

"Regina, look-"

"Save it Miss Swan. You and I both know you aren't going to apologise or admit you where wrong. Which means there is nothing you can say that I want to hear" Regina waved dismissively.

"You really should apologise love, I did tell you not to do it but you didn't listen to me. No-one ever listens to me, you know…." he trailed off.

"I know Killian, but I couldn't leave an innocent person-"

"To die. We know" Killian and Regina said in unison.

"You brought her back because you didn't want to change things but you changed things anyway. You walk around all self righteous, getting every single thing that you want. Yet after working so hard, you take away the one thing I want. Then you won't even admit that you where wrong. It's not losing Robin that would make me go Evil Queen Emma. It's you. You and your family and the way you treat me. The way you automatically assume I'm going to go evil after all the work I've done. No matter what I do, you will all always distrust me, always suspect me. It makes me wonder why I even bother. That is what would make me change Miss Swan" Regina snarled softly.

"Now now ladies" Killian said getting between them. "Regina I rather resent you telling another your inner feelings. I thought that was my job?" Killian pouted.

"You look ridiculous, you're not even looking in the right direction" Regina tried to keep her composure, what shreds she had of it, but she had to laugh at the squinting pirate looking just over her shoulder.

"What do you mean your job?" Emma asked

"I am Regina's BF-"

"I TOLD you not to say it that way!"

"Right, yes, what did it stand for again? …..oh yes! Best Friend Forever" Killian declared proudly. Regina looked heavenward and sighed.

"…you and Regina are best friends?" Emma asked incredulously. Killian frowned, leaning in close to whisper to her furiously.

"Oh I see, you gave me your permission to befriend her, permission that I did not need by the way love, but you still thought I'd spy for you. Keep an eye on her anyway. Pretend to be her friend is that it?"

"I don't know, I thought you where just feeling guilty because of the whole Marian thing and touchy about the villain thing. I didn't think you'd go out and get drunk with her!"

"So you thought I'd still just go along with you like your little lap dog. It may have escaped your notice love, but I don't have any friends. Much like Regina, I am a reformed villain, people aren't queuing up to befriend us. Who did you think I was with when I wasn't with you?" Emma shrugged guiltily. "I was all on my own. I thought for once it would be nice to have a friend. Regina and I are much alike, we understand each other a lot better than you do apparently. You always forget I was a villain Emma, yet your father never does. I remember what happened in the boat house, how you and your family turned on me, much like you immediately turned on Regina, thinking the worst when she hadn't even done anything. I meant it when I said I wanted to befriend her. To have a friend of my own. This situation just gave me the push I need because no-one else was going to be there for her where they? You're all too busy suspecting her of things she hasn't even done yet. As for Henry you forbade him from coming near her. Even I know Regina would never hurt her own son, you forget who raised him lovingly before you came in to his life" Emma flinched. Killian felt bad but Emma had to hear it, harsh as it may be it was the truth and Killian was angry at her for treating Regina like this. The alcohol didn't really help his self control. "I love you Emma, but right now I am ashamed of you"

Emma looked up in to his eyes. She knew he was right. She knew she was wrong, but she just….she couldn't admit it. She just couldn't because then she'd have to admit that she had completely destroyed Regina's happy ending, just like her mother had, and not cared or thought twice while doing it. She had thought she was right. She had ignored Killian's advice and thought she knew best. Knew better than a however many hundred year old pirate. Regina was right. She had seen Back To The Future, she did know better. She was ashamed of herself for making Regina want to give up. Ashamed for thinking Regina would harm Henry. She should apologise to Regina but every time she opened her mouth it all came out wrong. As for Killian…she was ashamed that she hadn't realised he had no other friends.

"Killian-" He cut her off, stepping back and addressing Regina.

"What was that I'll keep you my little dirty secret song thing?"

"Dirty Little Secret?"

"That's the one! That's me and Emma with her parents. After all the hard work I've done to reform myself, her parents still don't trust me. Her father would love to run me through with a sword. That man is never going to trust me. Doesn't mater what I do, or what I say."

"Killian that's not true-"

"Yes love, it is" he leaned in to whisper furiously again, "All of this is making me wonder why I bother to be so heroic when your bloody father is just waiting for me to…how did you say it? Fall off the wagon?"

"Killian I'm sorry" Emma said desperately. Killian looked down at her realising the alcohol may have allowed him to go too far, then decided he was too drunk to care and just nodded. "Don't tell me" he said, then nodded in Regina's direction.

"I will fix things okay, but not when the two of you are this hammered. I promise. Okay?" Killian nodded. "Are we…are we okay? I'll speak to my dad and-"

"It's okay Emma. Just….please make things right with Regina. She is my friend. She deserves an apology and she's in pain right now love" Killian said quietly. Emma nodded to him.

Killian stepped back, raising his voice to a normal level, "Anyway Swan, Regina and I where just returning from our Villains Anonymous meeting, I got the idea from that moving picture you showed me."

"Show Killian…it's a TV show, remember" Killian shrugged, scratching the behind his ear. Emma rolled her eyes.

"So what? The two of you are drunk-"

"I don't know why you keep saying we're drunk love, we're merely two friends returning from a meeting is all" Emma looked at Regina who was shaking her head and mouthing "We're totally wasted" at her, all previous animosity forgotten as she'd become lost in her thoughts while the two of them where having their whispering match. Thoughts that had revolved around wondering if there was some sort of gravity magic going on, or if the world was just spinning because of how much she'd drunk. The scuff of footsteps made her look up.

"Please tell me I'm hallucinating" Regina mumbled as David came striding up to the group.

"Regina, you okay? Snow wanted me to come and check on you, I would have been here sooner but I had to take Grumpy down to the station" Regina warmed at the thought that David...the one she had assumed would be most vehement about her turning evil again...had come to check on her.

"Bloody hell there's three of them" Killian jumped when he finally laid eyes..sort of...on David. David just turned to Killian and levelled him with a stare. Killian squeaked and hid behind Regina. "THAT'S THE LOOK! That's it! The one he gets before he runs someone through with a sword" Killian shrieked rather shrilly in Regina's ear, while pointing over her shoulder.

"I'm fine, thank you David" Regina said with a genuine smile at the man, which he returned...before going back to giving Killian The Stare. "Killian and I where just on our way home after a few drinks"

"A few? I rather think your playing down our-"

"Will you shut up? Or do you want him to take the other hand?" Regina hissed. Killian looked up at David briefly before resuming his hiding.

"They where just telling me all about their meeting" Emma chimed in.

"Meeting? What meeting?" David asked curiously.

"An ex villains meeting, apparently"

"...an ex villains meeting?" David said thoughtfully.

"Exactly" Killian nodded emphatically. Momentarily moving out from behind Regina.

"They're friends as well apparently" Emma smirked, knowing David was going to lose his mind.

"FRIENDS? You have got to be kidding me" David looked between Killian and Regina, his jaw dropped slightly.

" _Best_ friends" Killian stressed. Emma and David looked to Regina as if for confirmation. Truth be told Emma was more surprised Regina had consented to being friends with him. Regina shrugged.

"Are you sure about this Regina..." David asked with concern.

"It's not like anyone else was offering, he's been a surprisingly good friend to me. Tonight wouldn't have been as much fun for me without him." Regina said. David read the pain in her eyes, looked thoughtfully between the two of them and just nodded.

"Besides he's my mould. My brain mould" Emma stared at her.

"Yep. I grew on her like mould" Killian said proudly. Emma and David just stared at them.

"Go. Now. Straight back to the house." Emma sighed. Regina and Killian looked at each other. "Now" Emma growled.

As the pair went to move David grabbed Killian by the arm and leaned in to whisper in his ear, "If you're just using her for..whatever...if any of this friends business is just you being...well...you" he said with distaste, "If you hurt Regina in any way, they'll be calling you Captain No Hands. Got it pirate?" David finished with a fierce glare. Killian gulped.

"Oh David, we really need to work on that. Don't worry I'll teach you my threatening...witty...ugh you know what I mean, ways" Regina finished managing to keep the slurring to a minimum. David just chuckled at her, giving her a brief hug. "Drink a glass of water before you sleep okay?" Regina just rolled her eyes at him. David turned to look at Killian.

Killian grabbed Regina by the arm, and the two of them staggered off as fast as they could. Emma watched the pair and tried not to laugh as Killian started to drunkenly sing "I FOUGHT THE LAAAAWWWW AND IIIIIIIIIIIIII WOOOONNNN" laughing quietly at the changed lyric. Before Regina started proudly shouting, "I TAUGHT HIM THAT!" Emma shook her head at the pair while David just smiled.

"Well, who would of thought it? It's good that she has a friend. Even if it is the pirate" David said. Emma just nodded, scanning the nearby shadows before calling out.

"You can come out now"

Robin slid out of the shadows.


	10. Chapter 10

"Did you hear all that?" Emma asked.

"Most of it" Robin nodded. Trying to avoid David's glare, which was miraculously even worse than the one he'd levelled at Killian.

"I'm going to assume that the guy who called them in was one of your Merry Men…judging by the accent and your lurking. Gonna tell me why?"

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to make sure she was okay" he said quietly. David snorted.

"By getting me to arrest her?" Emma raised an eyebrow.

"I was worried about her, she'd been drinking a lot and so had the pirate, and they where both alone together, and talking about going home together, I know you trust him, but I don't. Not with Regina" Robin said vehemently. "I know I shouldn't have done it but I couldn't stand the thought of her spending the night with the pirate, okay. Not when her judgement may be…impaired." Emma just kept looking at him. Robin became flustered, he was Robin Hood, leader of the Merry Men, there had never been a lawman who could break him….until now. Apparently. "Look, I don't know why you're looking at me like that, like you have the moral high ground or something. At least I'm well aware that Regina would never go back to the person she was, something you're apparently not, even after everything she's done for the lot of you." Emma started at that.

"You're right. Don't worry, I know she won't do anything okay? Regina and Killian both set me straight. I'm going to fix things with Regina when she's not completely off her face." Emma smirked at Robin's scowl.

"Oh thank God, your mother's been hounding me to get you to do that" David said with a sigh of relief. Emma just looked at him. "What? I was worried too, but your mother gave me a talking to and I realised I was wrong" Emma raised both eyebrows. "Whatever you're thinking don't say it. I can admit I was wrong. So can you" Robin, who hadn't been listening to the exchange continued on with his crisis of conscience.

"I'm grateful to have Marian returned to me, honestly I am, Roland has his mother back after all. But at the same time….I'm in love with Regina. I still care for Marian but I don't love her, not like I love Regina. I can't just leave Marian, she's in a completely strange world, everything is different…I can't leave her. We are still married…I can't"

"You know there's such a thing as divorce in this world right?" Emma said raising an eyebrow.

"Yes I do, it's just….Marian has been uprooted from our realm, and after everything she's had to go through to get here….with her still adjusting to this realm? I can't do it to her. I can't. I have to honour my code, as much as it hurts me to do it. I just wish it wasn't hurting Regina. She told me…she told me something and I can only imagine the kind of pain I've put her through. Not only did I choose Marian, but I didn't even have the decency to talk to her. I just…forgot about her. I was so preoccupied with Marian, settling her in to this realm, telling her all that she's missed…I just forgot. I hate myself for it. How could I forget her? She doesn't deserve that."

"No she doesn't. Regina has been hurt again and again, and she was finally happy. Honestly even I was heartbroken for her. I know you didn't mean any harm Emma, but Regina just keeps getting knocked back down. Right now, she's on her way home from having fun for the first time in a while, and you following her, watching her...whatever you where doing" David gave him a stern look, "Isn't fair to her. You keep saying you won't leave your wife. Fine, okay. Do what you gotta do. But do not mess with her like this. If you're staying with your wife, then leave her alone, don't keep watch on her. Don't look out for her, she doesn't need it. She can handle the pirate. What she can't handle is you, and whatever crisis you are having. She can't handle having you telling her you're staying with your wife but still telling her how much you love her. Messing with her and her emotions. You can't have both. You forgot about Regina. You chose Marian. Let her go, let her fix what you broke, and stay away from her. Don't keep dragging her back down" David finished. Emma just nodded.

"Normally I'd tell you to go talk to her and tell her how you feel but...Dad's right, you can't mess with her like that. It's not fair. You'll just keep on hurting her" Emma said sadly.

"Just as well that I'm not entirely sure she wants me anywhere near her anymore." Robin said sadly.

"I'm sorry for putting you in this situation. Really I am. I just...I'm the Saviour. I save people" Robin just nodded absent mindedly, lost in his thoughts. "Anyway, I'm gonna head back, they're heading to Regina's and I know you don't like it…don't like him. But he will look after her Robin. They're friends."

"Much as I hate to say it...Emma's right. She's in safe hands...hand" David winced.

"Oh yes. I know exactly what kind of….friends…they are" Robin muttered darkly. Emma just stared at him in confusion. While David cocked his head, and narrowed his eyes.

"Riiiiight. Well. Okay then. Want some company heading back?"

"No…I'm going to make sure Regina makes it all the way home, if that's okay" Robin said, but it wasn't really a question. Emma just nodded.

"Go ahead, I'll catch up" David said, Emma started to walk home, but she hadn't gotten far before her phone beeped and she saw she had a text. It was from Killian, and it was an incredibly garbled 'Good Night' message. Or at least...she was 80% sure it was...

David waved Emma off, smiling at her until she was out of sight, before turning to face the Outlaw, grabbing him by the back of his jacket as he started walking away. "Oh no you don't" David's smile was replaced by The Stare. Robin gulped, leaning as far back as Davids grip would allow.

"What did you mean before? When you said you knew what kind of friends they are?"

"I just meant that I understood their relationship perfectly. The bloody pirate was in the Diner with Regina, I overheard him talking to Granny about their romantic plans for a picnic, which obviously ended up in that tavern. How very sodding romantic." Robin said sarcastically. "Wouldn't shut up about it, romantic this, picnic that, girlfriend blah blah blah" David's amusement vanished at the word girlfriend.

"He said Regina was his girlfriend?"

"Yes" Robin said sulkily.

David narrowed his eyes, "How did he say it?"

"What do you mean?"

"How did he say, what was his intonation?" Robin frowned in confusion.

"I don't know, I couldn't hear properly, it was one of the words he said louder"

"Louder?"

"Yes, he raised his voice a little bit, seemed to stress the whole word, wanted everyone to know, bloody pirate"

"Did he now?" David smirked. He had no doubt in his mind that Hook was well aware Robin was listening in to the conversation, that the word was spoken with the intention to be heard and mistaken. He knew that Hook was familiar with the various uses of the word girlfriend, and that he was aware Robin would not be. Oh yes. David knew exactly what the pirate was up to.

"You pirate, are not so bad after all, are you?" David muttered in the direction Hook and Regina had stumbled.

"What was that?" Robin enquired.

"Nothing. Don't worry. Regina couldn't be in safer company right now, why don't you head out?"

Robin just gave David a funny look. Before waving and starting to head off in the direction of Regina's house.

"The other way" David said, pointing in the direction of the forest, and giving him The Stare the entire time that Robin debated ignoring him, before turning to walk back towards the camp. Robin could feel that stare burning a hole through his jacket.

Smirking to himself, David turned and headed for home. He couldn't wait to tell Snow all about this.

* * *

 

Regina blinked awake, then immediately squinted at the harsh sunlight shining in to the room as it sent a shard of pain through her head. Regina quickly took inventory of herself and her surroundings. She was lying on the bed, wearing the same clothes as yesterday, and from the feel of it she hadn't bothered to take her makeup off. She was in her own room, and there where two discarded bottles one on the night stand, and one…..a bottle of rum? Was actually tucked in to the bed next to her, with a leather coat as a blanket. What the hell?! She stared at it, memories coming back from the previous night. "That damn pirate!" she seethed. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed, placing both feet on the floor. She took a step…..and promptly landed on her face, and something lumpy that reeked of rum. The something sat bolt upright, sending Regina flying again. "LAND HO!" Killian shouted. Regina winced at the volume and close proximity of his voice to her pounding head. She peeled herself off the floor and in to a sitting position as Killian looked around.

"Bloody hell, who redecorated the Jolly Roger!?" he exclaimed.

"No-one you idiot, you're in my house! And apparently you're so attached to your rum that you coddle it, and tuck it in at night after reading it a bed time story" she sneered.

"Did I really? Huh" he scratched behind his ear. Regina took in his demeanour and lack of any hangover signs. Damn him. Well….that's what happened when your veins where filled with rum rather than blood. She magicked herself some aspirin and a glass of water. Knocking back the pills straight away.

"Are those the magical pain capsules Emma was telling me about?"

"Aspirin? Yes. We can't all have hundreds of years to spend racking up an immunity to alcohol" Killian smirked at her.

"No but at least you had someone to keep up with you, someone unafraid to drink his own body weight in liquor." he said proudly. Regina snorted, then magicked herself fresh clothes and makeup. Killian looked at her.

"What? I have a hangover okay." Killian raised his eyebrows at her. Regina sighed. "If I do it will you stop with the eyebrow?" he nodded vigorously. Regina waved her hands and Killian's clothes where replaced with fresh ones.

"I could get used to this!" he crowed, admiring his seemingly newly washed outfit.

"Don't even think about it, this was a one off, I'm not your magical maid" Regina said, but Killian wasn't paying attention. He had retrieved his phone from his coat pocket and was fiddling with it.

"I don't know about you, but I need a good breakfast, I think I'll head over to Granny's and get something to eat" she said as she stood up started to walk towards her bedroom door, only for the pirate to shout "No" and launch himself at her legs. He held on even as she carried on walking or should she say…shuffling, dragging him along the floor. "Get off!"

"No!" She rolled her eyes heavenwards. He was acting like a child.

"What is your problem now?" Seeing she had stopped trying to leave, the pirate hastily got to his feet, and nervously bit his lip.

"Uh…I was…..Um…."

"Uuh, Um, what? I don't have all day. I have….things to do" like eating my body weight in ice cream, crying at Titanic and wallowing in my misery.

"I wanted to make you breakfast" Killian blurted out. Regina stared at him and then started to laugh. "What? What's so funny?"

"You said you couldn't even work a toaster and now you want to make me breakfast? Don't you mean, you'll destroy my kitchen and then we'll have to go to Granny's anyway? Let's just skip the first part okay, I'm not in the mood." Regina looked at him with a raised eyebrow, but he was fiddling with his phone again, stabbing at it furiously. She sighed and went to walk out of the room again.

"WAIT! Isn't it some sort of tradition to drink that foul drinking black fuel when hungover?" Regina narrowed her eyes at him slightly as she started to decipher what he was saying.

"Coffee? We can get coffee at Granny's?"

"But it isn't the same, in the moving picture-"

"I really hate to think what the hell Swan has you watching. It's a tv show, it's all fictional. It's not a handbook or whatever" she turned to leave again. Killian reaching to stop her but before he could come up with something even more ridiculous, someone knocked on the door.

"Perfect. Must be my watch squad" Regina mumbled as she stomped down the stairs, Killian following at her heels.

"Rather un-Queenly to stomp, wouldn't you say?" He teased.

"Shut up or I'll turn you in to the parrot companion you're missing" she retorted.

"My my, someone's not a morning person" he smirked. She raised her hand threateningly.

"Wanna find out what a perm is?" she said with menace. But before Killian could reply they'd reached the front door. Regina flung it open wide. She didn't care who it was, she was in no mood to take any shit from anyone today. But she froze when she saw who was standing on the doorstep. Henry.

"Hey mom!"


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this chapter, I'm trying to have some fun with it to give you guys a laugh or two considering everything from last season, but sometimes I'm not sure if I go that smidge too far!

Regina stared down at Henry, blinking slightly. "Henry?"

"I'm sorry I couldn't come see you yesterday, but Killian said he had it covered and he'd look after you!" Regina turned to look at Killian, who just grinned at her. _So that's what he was doing on the phone. Of course._

"So that's why you wouldn't let me leave this morning"

"Couldn't let you ruin the surprise!" Killian said cheerfully. Henry beamed at the two of them and Regina pulled him in to a hug. Looking over Henry's head she mouthed at Killian, Thank you, with an incredibly genuine smile. Killian smiled back, nodding his head slightly. He could see how much it meant to Regina, Regina who had probably thought her son had taken Emma's side, or was scared of her again. Ending the hug, Henry held up a few bags for Regina to see.

"I brought supplies! I've got pancakes from Granny's for the three of us, coffee for you, tea for Killian and a tonne of aspirin, and a couple pints of chocolate ice cream, and popcorn, and chips and chocolate and a couple movies for us to watch" Henry finished, while Regina and Killian stared at him in amazement that he managed it all in one breath. When they just stared at him, Henry added, "I thought we could spend the day together, if that's okay?"

Regina had been thinking about how lucky she was to have a son like Henry, but she snapped out of her thoughts at the slight uncertainty in his voice. "I would love to Henry" She said with a big smile, hugging him again. "Let's go put everything in the kitchen for now" she said, taking a couple of the bags and heading for the previously mentioned room.

Killian winked at Henry, "Well done lad! Operation Hooked Queen, phase one is complete. Your mother and I are officially friends. And you my boy, have just taken care of our plans for the day." Killian had been worrying about what

"It's all part of the plan. Mom's gonna want to be moping about Robin, that's Phase Two. But with the two of us there, and the movies I've got, we can swiftly move on from Phase Two, to Phase Three: The Cheer Up." Killian was impressed, the lad had clearly thought of everything. Killians smile dimmed as he noticed the look on Henry's face.

"What is it? Is the next phase? If it's the Outlaw, then I'll deal with him"

"No. It's just….for Phase Two….we'll have to, I mean, she'll wanna do it she won't want anything else. It's not gonna be good." Killian was getting worried.

"Spit it out lad!"

"…..we're going to have to watch Titanic" Henry said with grim finality.

"…pardon?"

"Titanic. It's a movie about a ship" Killians ears perked up at that, "Don't get too excited, you'll see"

"Are you two coming?!" Regina called from the Kitchen, and Henry and Killian made their way in to the room to find breakfast had been transferred from Granny's take out cartons to plates. In no time at all, the three of them where wolfing down their pancakes, while Killian was regaling Henry with tales from the night before, Regina butting in every now and again to make sure Killian didn't say anything he shouldn't. Henry had a huge smile on his face, watching his mom and Killian interact. He wasn't stupid, he knew his mom didn't really have a proper friend, not one she could confide in. There was Snow he guessed, but it wasn't quite the same. Henry had noticed how Killian didn't have any friends of his own either. He figured they had a lot in common and he knew that despite her snark, his mom cared about Killian in her own way. When Henry had been upset about not being allowed to go to her yesterday, Killian had come to talk to him, and broached the subject of his befriending Regina.

He'd told Henry about how he had always thought of Regina as a friend, seeing as they understood each other, and had a lot in common. How he was one of the few people who really understood her. He'd then told Henry that he had been meaning to befriend her properly for a while, and that now seemed the perfect chance. The pair had spoken about how, despite the front Regina had put on that night at the Diner, she most likely needed a friend now more than ever. Killian had told Henry that his mom might need a day to order her thoughts before seeing him, and he should probably give Emma the day to cool off anyway, and that he would take care of his mom for the day in his place. Offer an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. Killian had very sincerely promised Henry that he would look after her and he had kept his word. Watching the two of them, Henry had never seen his mom interact with someone like this before. It was like they'd been friends for years. She was laughing and joking and if it wasn't for Killian, Henry figured his mom wouldn't be like this right now. He was determined to help his mom, but with Killians help it would be easier. Especially with Robin lurking about, if he tried to come near his mom, Henry might be able to get him to back off and stay away…but Killian would definitely be able to.

Once everyone had finished breakfast, they all carried the supplies Henry had brought in to the living room, laying everything out on the coffee table.

"Okay mom, let's get this over with" Henry sighed grabbing the DVD case for Titanic. Henry had to smile when his mom actually stuck her tongue out at him.

"I need to watch it!"

"Just this once mom, then the moping is done, promise?" Henry laughed, knowing she just needed to get it out of her system by watching her favourite sad movie.

"Yes, _Dad_ " Regina laughed, while Killian high fiver her. Henry just shook his head. _Okay. Maybe this was a mistake._ He thought before joining in their laughter, and putting the disc in to the player.

As soon as the movie started to play it had Killian's full attention.

"Blood hell. They're _under_ the water" Killian stared with round eyes watching the footage of the wreck play out on the screen. "What manner of sorcery is this?"

"It's a submersible, it can sail through the water. I don't think they can go as far as a submarine though" Regina just shrugged. Why the hell would she know about anything nautical.

Killian stared at the blonde man on the screen as if he was speaking legend or something as he explained about depth and whatever else. Regina just rolled her eyes. She hated this bit. So boring.

"That's a ship?"

"A shipwreck, the wreck of the Titanic. It was a real ship in 1912, it hit an iceberg and sank, most of the passengers on it died because they didn't use the lifeboats properly. The footage we're seeing is the real life wreck as it is on the bottom of the sea right now," Henry gestured at the screen, "all of this stuff belonged to passengers. Although I think divers have brought a lot of it to the surface" Henry finished his historical spiel. Regina wasn't sure if Killian looked impressed or just really really freaked out as they watched the mini subs explore the wreck. _Okay, he's definitely freaked out_ Regina chuckled to herself as Killian kept staring at the screen, playing with his hook. The helicopter seemed to freak him out a little bit as well, as he gulped when he saw it.

He became completely fascinated when the character on the screen started to explain how the ship sank. She figured he'd seen the ships in the harbour, but they where tiny compared to the ship in the movie. He hadn't seen anything like it, nor had he seen anything about shipwrecks being explored. _I don't think National Geographic ships to Neverland. And The Enchanted Forest certainly doesn't have wi-fi._ Regina found herself watching the movie through new eyes, as she kept tabs on Killian's reaction. As the ship came in to view on the screen in all its glory, Regina had to smile at his sharp inhale of breath.

"My Gods…..it's….it's…."

"Titanic?" Henry said, mirthfully.

"….bloody huge"

"That too"

"And it's all metal? Where are the sails? The cannons?….the wood?" he stared wide eyed.

"Enjoy this while you can Killian" Henry said ominously. "It's all fun, and cool right now, but just wait" Regina smiled at Henry's reaction.

Regina was fairly certain most of the movie was going over Killians head, what with his limited knowledge of this realm. Regina was completely engrossed in Rose and Jack, and Killian had developed the annoying habit of getting as close to the screen as he could whenever it showed the ship and how it ran. Henry was more engrossed in watching his mom and Killian. The pirate was reacting hilariously to the film, he was so in to the ship, asking Henry questions every now and again. But it was just a matter of time. For his part Killian was worried by the sense of foreboding Henry had instilled in him. He was too intrigued by the ship to give it too much thought though. That was his mistake. When the time came. Killian hadn't been prepared for one of the most horrific moments of his very long life. Henry had known it was coming, and he felt bad for not warning Killian but…it was too late now.

Henry had watched as his mom and Killian had both wrinkled their noses at the spitting scene, with Killian even remarking, "That's just bad manners not to mention…what's the word Emma uses….un..un….unsantary!". Regina had just snorted and said, "You mean unsanitary? This coming from a pirate who's been wearing the same outfit for what is it? 500 hundred years?".

"You wound me" Killian had remarked with a slight pout. His mom had just rolled her eyes, "What is it with you and pouting? Not very pirate-like is it? _Give me all your worldly goods or I'll pout you to death_ " his mom had chuckled. While Killian's pout had actually intensified. Henry and his mom had laughed when Killian started bobbing around in his seat to the music during the scene in third class, exclaiming "This is more like it!" and even dragging Regina up from her seat on the couch, and dancing with her much like Jack was dancing with Rose, jigging merrily around the living room. Henry had taken a photo, thinking it might cheer his mom up at a later date. He'd had to video Killian attempting to copy the complicated footwork and falling over backwards when he tripped over his own feet. Killian had wanted to make Regina spin, like the two in the movie, but Regina had just looked at him, looked around the living room at all the breakable objects and said "No". While Killian had looked quite disappointed. Things had calmed down then. At least for a little while.

The kissing scene at the front of the ship had Henry groaning and hiding his face in a pillow, while Killian had just remarked, "I'm fairly certain that's not how you fly love" while giving the the character a worried look. From there it wasn't long before the drawing scene. Henry had immediately averted his eyes and was glued to his phone. Killian had yelped, "Bloody hell!" his eyes darting about, not knowing where to look, "What kind of moving picture is this? This isn't….it isn't….bloody hell" Henry wasn't sure but he was fairly certain Killian had then started mumbling about good form, and etiquette, with his hand over his eyes. The car scene? Killian had turned an interesting shade of red, and mumbled something unintelligible. "Honestly, I would have thought a pirate would have been able to handle a little-" she had glanced at Henry, "You know" she had said with a meaningful look at the pirate. "Someone's not as," she wiggled her eyebrows, "as he wants everyone to think" Killian had just turned redder prompting Regina to crow, "Aw, look, he's gone all….what is the name of that other dwarf? The one constantly looking like…well…that" she gestured at Killian, "Bashful?" Henry supplied.

"This is not….it's not…..proper. It's….it's….." Killian trailed off sputtering.

He had regained his composure by the time the famous lines, "Iceberg dead ahead" had been shouted on screen. Killian was on the edge of his seat, eyes glued to the screen watching events unfold, muttering things like "amazing" every now and again. Regina was too focused on the movie to pay much attention. Henry had known it was a matter of time, and envied Killian his lack of awareness, his simple enjoyment at watching a ship from this realm work. "Poor sods" he'd muttered at the engine room men. He'd become quite incensed watching Jack being framed for theft. "Bloody bastards. That's bad form, if ever I saw it" he had snarled. Minutes later he'd shouted "Of course it can sink you bloody idiot" at the screen, with Regina shushing him, as if she'd never seen it before. "Two thousand?! Bloody hell" he'd swallowed hard. Killian had stared in wide eyed horror at the water flooding through the ship and the unfolding events. He hadn't noticed Regina's reaction, but Henry had and he was counting down. His mom was staring at the screen, at the impending disaster, swallowing hard. Clearly becoming choked up.

"Bloody coward" Killian had snarled at the man as he'd climbed in to the lifeboat. A tear had trickled down Regina's face as the two girls in the lifeboat had cried about being seperated from their father. "Why is he letting her go? He can't let that…that…..villain win!" Killian cried, Henry had tried to explain about the rules but Killian was having none of it, Regina strongly suspected his reaction was tied to a personal crisis of some kind, she had grabbed his hand. "Don't worry, just watch" she had breathed. Killian had quieted down until Rose jumped from the lifeboat. He had started cheering, with Regina joining in. "GO ON LASS!". Henry who had resumed filming, knew David was going to love watching this later, anything that would embarrass the pirate brought him great joy. When the ship had started sinking in earnest, Killian's eyes where as wide as dinner plates and he was barely breathing as he muttered exclamations. Regina on the other hand had tears slowly trickling down her face, "those poor people" she muttered. "My God" he'd breathed when the ship had snapped in half, looking a little bit green. "I don't think I like the ships of this realm…." he managed to get out. Henry had to laugh at the fearsome Captain Hook terrified of a ship. It was when he'd looked over at his mom for her reaction, expecting her to be laughing to that he realised which part they where at, he looked at the screen in time to see Jack floating through the water, before Rose launched off the bit of wood. Regina had tears streaming down her face, "she said….she'd never….let go…." she gasped out. Henry knew the time was nigh. Killian was still blissfully unaware. As the camera panned through the wreck, the instrumental playing, and transformed in to the ship as it was….as the characters appeared….that's when it happened. Killian would remember the moment for the rest of his life. Henry who had experienced it before, struggled very hard not to laugh at the poor pirate.

Killian had turned to Regina, just as she'd started to sob. Really, really sob. Tears where streaming down her face, she was heaving in breath, sobbing and crying and gasping out words in between, "She said..she'd…never….let….go" "He…..exists…my…..memories" "Did….everything….she said…..would" "Old lady…..died…" "….ghosts…..all together" "Together…..again" "It's….so…..SAD". Killian could only stare in horror. All his years of existence and he still didn't know how to deal with crying women, let alone openly hysterical women. He looked around the entire room, seeking anything that could help, as Regina clutched his shirt sobbing at him about how sad it all was and how they'd been reunited in the end. Killian's face had changed from horror to panic as he frantically patted Regina on the back, murmuring, "there, there. Just a moving picture love" that had been a mistake. "NO. THEIR LOVE WAS REAL DAMMIT" raising her hand to conjure a fireball. "Calm down love, no need to do anything rash" he threw his hands out placatingly. But Regina had started wailing along to My Heart Will Go On, while Henry and Killian both winced.

"YOU'RE HEEERREEEEE, THERE'S NOTHIIIIIINNNG I FEAAAAARRRR" she wailed and sobbed on Killian. Killian looked at Henry, pure panic in his eyes. "Help….help now"

"AAAANNNDD I KNOOOOWW THAT MY HEART WILL GO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNN," Regina's whole body was shaking as she wailed at Killian. "Henry, please, help. HELP ME"

WE'LL STAAAAAAAAAAAYYYY, FOREEEEEEEEEVEER THIS WAAAAAAAY" Henry took pity on Killian, grabbed a spoon and reached for one of the pints of ice cream Regina had been keeping cool with her magic.

"I know mom, but it's okay, here look…chocolate ice cream! You're favourite, it'll make it aaalll better" Henry handed them over. Regina started digging in, sobbing occasionally, but Henry knew it was a matter of time. He looked over at Killian, who looked completely traumatised. "Don't worry, that was just stage one, any…minute…..now…."

"It's all her own fault anyway, if the idiot had stayed in the stupid lifeboat he'd have had that pice of wood all to himself and he wouldn't have turned in to a human popsicle. Or better yet if she had just moved over, he could have fit on there too and don't try to tell me all about how two couldn't fit and blah blah blah, I saw that episode of mythbusters okay and they PROVED that they both could have. She's such a liar. "I'll never let go" she says, and then what does she do? She let's go! Not to mention how she managed to just move on and get her second chance at love and completely forget about him" Regina ranted.

"But Regina, we both have-" Killian started before Henry cut him off.

"I wouldn't interrupt her, she'll run out of steam in like….3 minutes tops. Don't worry, you'll love the next movie" Killian just stared at him. _What the bloody hell have I gotten myself in to?_


	12. Chapter 12

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Regina asked her son, who was excitedly putting the next DVD in to the player.

"Of course it is, we both know you secretly love this movie, and we both know Killian's gonna love it too. It's kinda only fair after the whole Titanic thing, I think you traumatised him" Henry glanced over at the pirate who was surreptitiously taking a swig from his flask.

"Yes, well, I don't want him to get any….ideas"

"Relax mom, it'll be fine, you'll see!" Regina looked at her son doubtfully but still returned to her spot on the couch. Killian looked up apprehensively.

"Don't worry, you'll love this movie" she said to him, "I won't after watching it with you" she muttered to herself. Before Killian could reply, the movie started to play and he saw the words. The words that would cause Regina untold torture for the next 2 hours and 24 minutes.

"Pirates of the Caribbean?" Killian repeated. "Well now, this is more like it" Regina groaned. The ship started to clear the mist. "Now that is a fine ship, bit too…..upstanding for my taste but fine nonetheless!" A girl's singing floated out of the speakers, as she appeared on the ship, Killian started to sing along with her. Regina refused to admit he had a decent singing voice when he wasn't drunk. She turned to hiss at Henry.

"Remember this was _your_ idea" Henry would have laughed but they where barely a minute in and he was re-evaluating his decision to show the pirate a pirate movie. He thought Killian might get a kick out of it but…

"Cursed pirates? Why must others always curse us? We're just making a living like everyone else!" Killian said indignantly.

"No Killian, cursed as in…magic curse…they've been cursed"

"Magic? Isn't that rather improbable for this realm?"

"It's just a movie Killian…." Henry sighed. Regina looked at her son smugly.

"What manner of pirate is this? Women are most assuredly not bad luck, in fact-" he was cut off by Regina's sharp elbow in his ribs, and he looked from her to Henry and decided not to continue his comment.

"He's not the pirate Killian"

"Where's the pirate?"

"You'll see him in a minute" Killian sighed and settled back, tapping his foot as he waited. Regina, having watched the movie a fair few times, realised what line was coming next.

"Swan!" Killian cheered. Regina face palmed. It was going to be a really long two hours, she could tell. She reached for the chocolate, she hadn't thought she'd be driven to it this early but needs must.

"Vile? Dissolute? HOW BLOODY RUDE!" Regina sighed and handed Killian one of her chocolate bars.

"Here, it helps with pretty much anything, sadness, anger…having your career crapped all over by a fictional movie character" Killian missed her sarcasm he was too busy staring at the screen in avid interest. His eyes lit up as the flaming shipwreck came in to view.

"Oh this brings back memories, I can assure you" Regina could see the gleam of reminiscence in his eyes and thought about making a snarky comment, before she remembered that she wasn't really one to talk. Henry smothered a laugh.

"You where totally gonna-"

"WHERE DID THE SHIPS GO?!" Killian let out a rather un-pirate like shriek as the image on the screen changed to show an adult Elizabeth. "BRING THEM BACK!" he shouted at the screen, brandishing his hook.

"Oh for the love of-WILL YOU CALM DOWN?" Regina grabbed Killian by the arm and hauled him back down on to the couch. She rather enjoyed the romance in the movie between Elizabeth and Will, it reminded her of…well….things. Killian sat with his arms folded in a sulk.

"Honestly, you're like hundreds of years old and you're sulking about a movie?" Killian's pout made an appearance again and Regina rolled her eyes. "I'm going to make you a pout jar one day. Every damn time that pout appears on your face, you're gonna have to pay a dollar or whatever"

"We're only 7 minutes in mom, you might want to pace yourself" Henry whispered as Regina devoured another chocolate bar. Regina narrowed her eyes at her son and he backed off, "Actually go ahead…eat all the chocolate you want"

Regina watched the scene playing out on the screen and she knew it was a matter of moments before the pirate went from sulky to unbearable. She shared a look with Henry. _Here it comes…._

The music changed. And there he was…Captain Jack Sparrow on his…boat. Killian immediately reacted.

" Is that the pirate?!"

"Yes" Regina and Henry replied wearily.

"Bloody hell, I can see why he has his own moving picture, fine-" he stared at the screen. "Where's his ship? What kind of pirate doesn't have a ship?" Killian huffed. He actually huffed. Regina started muttering to herself.

"Relax Killian, he's totally awesome, you're gonna love him!" _That's what I'm afraid of._ Regina thought to herself, viciously biting off another chunk of chocolate.

Killian stared avidly at the screen giving it his undivided attention, occasionally making a remark or two about memories, and old experiences. He had been wary of the pirate character at first, but Killian became more and more enamoured as the pirate displayed his cunning and general…piratey-ness. Regina found herself once again contemplating, as she did every viewing of this movie, the fact that if she ever where to lower herself to a dalliance with a pirate…it would be Jack Sparrow. She may have sighed once or twice at his actions, just as much as Will Turner's much to Henry's disgust. Johnny Depp was just….Regina licked her lips and shivered. She saw Henry looking at her. "What? Cold chill" she said casually.

"Shhhhh Regina, the Captain is speaking" Killian flapped his hand at her. Regina raised her eyebrow but Killian wasn't even looking at her.

"Good form" Killian breathed as Jack dived in to save Elizabeth.

"Why is everyone so surprised he's a pirate? He LOOKS like a freaking pirate" Regina grumbled at the screen.

"He's magnificent" Killian said, and Regina turned to look at him, her face screaming 'really?'. Henry meanwhile had continued filming. David was so going to owe him for this. On screen Jack was making his escape. Killian was half out of his seat, eyes fixed on the screen, cheering the fictional pirate on and exclaiming his genius. From that moment on, Captain Jack Sparrow was Killian's hero and Regina wondered if it was too early too start drinking.

Killian had spent the entirety of the movie cheering the other pirate on, firmly on his side no matter the occasion. He snarled insults at Barbossa for his treatment of Jack. He jumped on the coffee table once or twice during heated battles and fights, brandishing his hook and shouting advice. He wailed along with Jack when his rum was burning. "But why would you burn rum? Such a waste". He watched in awe as ships where stolen, and other ships did battle, admiring them and commenting on their pros and cons as potential pirate ships. He critiqued sword skill and strategy. Killian positively loved the Black Pearl, "It could do with a bit of a clean though don't you think?" Regina had just made a noncommittal noise. While Gibbs explained to Will that a bullet had started to look real friendly to dear old Jack, Regina's thoughts turned to how friendly that bottle of wine was looking, over on the sideboard. Killian critiqued, he praised, he repeated lines with solemnity that had Regina wondering if he'd picked up a couple of new mottos and catchphrases. Killian's eyes had grown big at the cave of treasure and he'd practically salivated. He'd even choked up a little bit at the end, as Jack murmured "drink up me hearties yo ho" and sailed off in to the sunset. Regina had chosen not to notice the pirates odd sniffling hadn't the heart to tell him it was all fake. Henry had made the mistake at one point, of asking Killian how accurate the piratical aspects where. Regina had contemplated throwing a fireball at Killian to make the torment end. And it did….eventually. Regina had never been more relieved to see the ending credits of the movie. Killian stared at the screen morosely.

"That's it?"

"Well, actually there's-" Regina slapped her hand over Henry's mouth and whispered in his ear, "Tell him about the other movies and you'll never read another comic again" Henry tried and failed to repress a laugh.

"Weak threat mom, I know you read them too" it was Regina's turn to huff. But Henry didn't finish his comments and they moved on to the next movie, with Killian completely unaware that his hero had three more movies to his name. Regina figured she'd tell him one day, but she couldn't handle another two hours of Killian's man crush on Captain Jack and he'd move on quickly enough once the next movie played. Or so she'd thought. The lack of additional movies didn't stop Killian from constantly harping on about Jack Sparrow. Jack this, Jack that, Jack would do this, Jack would do that, and so on until Regina seriously contemplated punching the pirate in the face.

They spent the rest of the day curled up on the couch in the living room watching movies and eating as much junk as they could manage. Much as the pirate irritated her with the constant crowing of his new hero, she found herself laughing a lot thanks to he and Henry. Killian had requested to watch Back To The Future, wanting to know the meaning behind a comment Emma had made. "Oh so that's what a Marty McFly is" he'd exclaimed, pointing at said character on the screen while Regina and Henry exchanged confused looks. The pirate had found the concept of the movie amusingly hard to get his head around. He understood time travel, he'd experienced it after all, and he understood the consequences. But he couldn't quite grasp the idea of a car that travels through time. "But there's no spell…no magic, it shouldn't be possible" he repeated. Regina just shook her head.

"Killian, it's a movie, it doesn't matter if it's possible…none of it's real!" she said, exasperated after saying the same thing yet again. Henry leaned over to whisper to her.

"What if he asks to watch Star Wars? You know….Princess Leia and everything?" Regina paused and allowed her brain to run through the possible outcomes. She didn't like any of them.

"We say we don't have it. I don't think he's ready yet" Regina said sagely, and Henry nodded. Killian fell asleep part way through the movie and had to be woken up for the next one, which was just as well. Confusion had definitely been starting to outweigh his fascination and Regina was rather fond of Back To The Future, Killian's brain shutting down with the overload of information allowed her to enjoy the movie in peace with Henry. It was a well needed break before they moved on to the next movie.

Peter Pan. Regina had had to laugh at Killian's reaction to the movie. His outrage and embarrassment as his depiction had been a sight to behold, especially considering his initial excitement to watch himself. He'd been quite insufferable with his arrogance and bragging…right up until he'd understood that Pan was a good guy and he looked…well….like _that_. He'd been angry and indignant, "I look nothing like that! What have they done to my handsome face…I'm….I'm…..WHAT IS ON MY HEAD?!"

"That would be a perm" Regina drawled.

"A perm? THAT'S A PERM?! I…I…people think that I look like….that!?" Killian practically wailed. Regina had patted him consolingly on the shoulder.

"Believe me, I feel your pain" she hadn't been impressed with her animated self either. Killian had quickly overcome that stage and been just plain embarrassed. He found it inconceivable that this realm would portray Pan as the hero and he as the villain.

"I know I was a villain, but I'm not anymore and besides every dealing I've had with Pan I've been virtually a saint compared to that nasty little boy. This is Pan's doing. Only he would have this ridiculous version of events…have me looking like…like….THAT" he'd raged as he paced in front of the screen, Regina and Henry watching him with sympathy. Regina was fairly certain Killian was more bothered about his appearance in the movie than about Pan being the good guy. Henry turned to his mother.

"What do we do? Do we tell him about the other versions-"

"What other versions? There are other versions?" Killian had either been closer and more focused than Henry had thought, or Henry hadn't whispered as quietly as he'd thought. He looked to his mom for help, she just took a large bite of chocolate.

"Well, there's a couple versions, this is the animated one there's a live action one and then there's one with Robin Williams in that one really stands out because you're so camp in that one and-" Henry stopped himself.

"And what?" Killian said dangerously. Regina swallowed her chocolate.

"And Hook and Smee are totally in to each other in that one. Well, the actors who played them at least said that they played them off that way" Regina said nonchalantly before sitting back to watch the fireworks. Killian had gone bone white.

"Look….like….that….every….version…Smee…..romantically involved…..with Smee…" Killian shuddered violently. Regina couldn't hold back her laughter.

"Oh we should totally watch that one next, I can't wait to see your reaction"

"No we bloody well aren't watching that next" Killian growled. "Smee is a good….sailor, but I harbour no…..feelings towards him. Not my type" Killian tried to finish with his usual charm and flair. It failed miserably as he'd gone from bone white to bright red. Regina was fairly sure he'd nearly stuttered once or twice.

"Prefer your lovers blonde and female?"

"Actually I'm not opposed to the odd dalliance with an attractive man but….Smee…." Killian shuddered again while Regina merely raised an eyebrow and muttered 'wow, who knew?'. She had been about to say something when her brain came up with a cunning plan. One that involved Killian's new revelation and messing with David. Regina shook her head. The pirate was her friend now. She had to play nicely.

"Fine, then what's next Henry?" Regina turned to her son who was once again filming proceedings. She raised her eyebrow at Henry, "I hope David makes that worth your while" was all she said and Henry grinned.

"I was actually thinking we could grab some food, kinda like an early dinner?" he asked, bringing an end to his filming. Regina glanced at Killian.

"Good idea lad! I need better sustenance than….this" he sneered at the junk food.

"Hey, you where happy to eat it five minutes ago" Regina scolded.

"So….Granny's?" Henry asked, before his mother and Killian could start to bicker. Regina was apprehensive. Last time she'd been in there….so had Robin and his family. She didn't want another run in but she was hungry for some proper food and she didn't want to deny Henry his request after he'd taken such good care of her all day. Given her so much fun. So much to laugh about. She steeled herself.

"Sure!" She managed to smile.

"Great! I'm gonna get ready!' Henry beamed and then ran upstairs. Regina sagged.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to love, he'll understand" Killian said reassuringly from his spot on the sofa.

"No. I have to do this, I can't hide forever, much as I want to" she mumbled the last part.

"That's the spirit!" Regina glared at him. _Oh I'll show you spirit pirate._

Henry came downstairs a few minutes later to find his Mom and Killian standing amidst a scene of total destruction. Chips where everywhere, crushed and scattered. Chocolate had been smeared here and there, broken pieces lying in the wreckage…and he was fairly certain that was ice cream dripping down a wall. There where no scorch marks. Regina spotted Henry and quickly used her magic to put everything back, and as Henry looked at them the pair both looked shamefacedly at the ground.

"Well…if you ever wondered who'd win in a fight between the Evil Queen and Captain Hook….." Regina started.

"The answer is myself" Killian smirked. Regina scowled.

"No it was not, I was clearly the winner here" before the pair could break in to a full blown argument Henry interrupted them.

"You could have waited for me" Henry said sulkily.

"We where hoping you'd say that" Regina said, grinning evilly. Killian smirked. It was at that point that Henry realised the pair where each holding something behind their backs. Henry started to back up the stairs but he didn't get far before they where on him and food was once again flying everywhere. The entire house was their battleground. No food stuff went unused. _Mom and Killian may be reformed villains, but throw them in a food fight and anything goes._ Henry laughed as his mother used her magic to reveal a lurking Killian and then promptly sent a volley of ice cream at him all without getting her hands dirty. Killian at one point decided to use a mattress to slide down the stairs, one handedly firing missiles with a surprising amount of speed and balance.

An hour or so later, the three lay on the living room floor panting and finally exhausted. Regina waved her hands and once again, everything went back to how it was before, along with their clothing so they where no longer covered in various food stuffs.

"Well love, I think it's safe to head to the diner. I believe you've taken out any murderous tendencies on myself and your decor"

"You're just bitter because Henry teamed up with me and it was two against one"

"One and a half against one, the lad doesn't fully count!"

"Sure pirate, whatever makes you feel better about getting your ass handed to you by a kid" Regina and Henry slapped high fives and Killian smiled at the joy on his friends face. He hoped it would remain there for the rest of the evening, it would be nice if Regina had one good day, but Storybrooke was a small town and considering the Outlaw's inability to stay away from Regina, Killian suspected that Regina would have to face him in the diner.

"Remember love, it's unbecoming for a Queen to throw food at a former paramour" Killian whispered in her ear. Regina snorted a laugh at the mental image and Killian had to smile at the reaction.

"Somehow, I don't think Granny would appreciate people throwing food in her diner"

"I think Granny would love to lodge a crossbow bolt in to a certain Outlaw" Killian replied. Regina arched an eyebrow.

"Interesting. I think Granny could do it as well"

"Needless to say, you won't be short of allies should he make an appearance"

"Yeah mom, he's right! Besides, we can always leave, I won't mind" Regina ruffled his hair and smiled.

"We'll do no such thing. I'm sure I can handle it with the two of you by my side" Killian smirked at her.

"Did you just-"

"Do not ruin the moment pirate" Regina said primly. Killian inclined his head, before looking her up and down. She'd been wearing comfy clothes all day, jeans and a shirt.

"Armour, your majesty?" Killian said gesturing to her outfit. Regina thought about it…the likelihood of having to see Robin was high and Regina wanted to look…..look like she wasn't still falling apart. Wasn't broken inside. She wanted to look good, for herself as much as the tiny part of her that wanted to rub it in his face. She also wanted to wear something that would help her..capture the personality traits she'd need to get through a run in without breaking down. She waved her hand and was soon clothed in leather pants, with the same pair of tall, heeled boots from earlier and a dark purple peplum top that showed off her curves. She looked to Killian and Henry for approval, and received nods from both.

"Let's go" she said, throwing her shoulders back and heading for the door. She opened it, prepared to leave but Killian grabbed her arm, allowing Henry to exit the house first.

"What is it?" Killian held out his trusty flask.

"Bit of dutch courage to get you through the evening?" Regina grabbed the flask and took a swig gratefully. Killian followed suit then offered Regina his arm. She hesitated but then took it and the pair walked arm in arm from the house, ready to do battle...and eat. Can't forget about the food.

"You have more rum hidden on you somewhere right? Just in case?"

"What do you take me for?!" Killian feigned being indignant as he drew her attention to a smallish bottle of rum hidden in an inside pocket of his coat. Regina patted his arm.

"Good pirate"


	13. Chapter 13

The trio entered the diner, and any patrons who had even thought about staring at the Queen quickly changed their minds with one look from Killian. Henry tried to do his part too but was slightly less threatening than the pirate with the dangerous appendage. Granny had smiled at Regina. _Smiled_. And Regina had felt….warm. She'd never been one to seek anyone's approval, but somehow the older woman showing her support for Regina made her feel slightly less alone, slightly more….maybe not loved, but definitely liked. Like she belonged, almost. She returned the smile and Granny showed them to a booth in the back.

"In case you need a quick exit" she winked. Regina smiled gratefully.

"Not necessary. We're going to brazen it out if we have to" Killian declared and Granny rolled her eyes at him, before turning to Regina.

"Good for you. Running away doesn't suit you" and with that Granny departed back to the counter. It wasn't long before Ruby bustled over.

"What can I get you guys?" She smiled warmly….even at Regina. Regina was starting to feel quite….like she might be in an alternate dimension. But she decided to go along with it because at least a couple of people had some niceties for her, which made a change from the pitying looks or the looks of abject terror. There was a time she relished those looks of terror...but not anymore. She had changed. It would seem some people had recognised that.

"Three cheeseburgers please! With fries AND chocolate shakes" Henry ordered for the table. Killian being none the wiser just nodded and decided not to argue. Regina however, did open her mouth to contradict Henry but he cut her off before she even started. "Mom. It's a burger and shake kind of day" he said sagely. Regina reluctantly nodded before looking down at herself uncomfortably. She'd been eating quite the amount of junk lately.

"Love you've no need to worry about your figure. There's not a thing wrong with it, and don't let the thief" Killian sneered, "make you think otherwise" Killian whispered. "Besides...I'm told chocolate has healing properties" Regina chuckled. Regina had been feeling a number of things since Robin had chosen his wife, and she'd been struggling to work out what was wrong with her besides the obvious. She knew it had nothing to do with her and everything to do with Robin's code. But she still couldn't help but try to find some way to blame herself, some way to make herself feel worse. Robin didn't care about the Evil Queen so what could it be. Her figure was more….curvy than Marian's and Regina had briefly entertained the idea that the problem may lie there, but she'd shaken it off. But still…the negative thoughts persisted in hanging around, it as a bad habit, another reason she'd needed her armour before coming to the Diner. "Thank you" she whispered back.

As they waited for their food, the bell above the door jingled and Regina braced herself. She was sitting opposite Killian with Henry next to her on the inside of the booth, so she had a clear line of sight to the door and a clear path of escape. She slowly looked up….and breathed out a sigh of relief. It was only the Charmings. She instantly regretted that relief. They where making a beeline straight for Regina and her booth. She pasted a smile on her face as they approached.

"Regina…what's wrong? Your face looks funny" Killian observed. She kicked him under the table. "OUCH"

"Your girlfriend and her parents are coming over" Killian straightened up from rubbing his shin. Instantly on alert.

"Parents? Dave-" Regina nodded and tried not to laugh at the panic in Killians eyes as he started to straighten himself out.

"Trying to look good for him, are you?" Regina asked with a smirk.

"I'm trying to look presentable" he said with dignity.

"Well…that went out the window when you decided to continue wearing the same outfit that you've worn for…how long?" Killian glared. Regina laughed. Killian couldn't hold his glare when faced with a genuine laugh from his friend. He sighed. "He hates me"

"No he doesn't" Regina said matter of factly. Killian raised an eyebrow. "Okay he does, but he also kinda likes you, or at least respects you. He's just protective. It's his thing" Before Killian could reply the Charmings where there, standing at the side of the table.

"Regina!" Snow beamed, reaching down and pulling Regina in to a hug. "How are you? David said you had a new friend and I had to see it with my own eyes"

"Yes, well, Killian has been….remarkably good to me." She leaned in to whisper to Snow, "He's made things…easier" Snow nodded understandingly.

"I'm glad you finally have a friend Regina, one who can understand you and be there for you. But I want you to know that I'm here for you too. I'm on your side" Regina smiled gratefully up at her step-daughter. She had been worried Snow would take the same stance as her daughter. Worried she would suspect her. But Snow's belief in Regina hadn't appeared to have wavered.

"Thank you Snow" David leaned in for a brief hug. "Regina, Hook"

"Mate" Killian tried for a casual head nod. Regina smothered a laugh.

"How's the hangover?" David asked with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Taken care of. Junk food and movies work like magic every single time" Regina replied with a smile. David beamed back pleased to see her in high spirits without having imbibed any spirits. He beamed even wider when Henry waved his phone in the background.

"Jack Sparrow-" Regina cut Killian off before he could start a diatribe about his new hero...no hero wasn't a strong enough word. His new God. She didn't particularly want to have to listen to the merits of the fictional character all over again.

"Yes. Killian has a new….hero" Snow smirked.

"Man cruuush" she sang in Regina's ear.

"You have no idea" Regina replied, nodding sagely.

"Did you get home okay?" David asked, she suspected he was digging for information but she wasn't sure what he could be after. She wasn't to know that David wanted to make sure her soul mate hadn't circled around and caused more trouble.

"Yes thank you. Apologies for my behaviour last night" David looked relieved briefly before amusement took over.

"Don't worry about it, you deserve to have some fun" he winked. Charming actually winked at her. Regina wasn't sure how to react to such an occurrence, luckily Snow said something to distract her.

"With your new, boyfriend" Snow said in an undertone.

"Excuse me?" Regina's brows creased in confusion.

"Nothing!" Snow said innocently. Too innocently. Regina would have pursued it if David hadn't been nudging Emma rather pointedly. She steeled herself for another of her excuses.

"Look Regina, I know you deserve more than this from me, but I think it's easier if I just do this the simple way, because then I can't screw it up" Emma took a deep breath, "I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry for what I did, and for screwing things up for you. You deserve your happy ending and I took that from you because I thought I knew better and I...I didn't" Regina stared in surprise. She hadn't expected an apology from Emma, not one so free from but's, and excuses and explanations. All she'd ever wanted was an apology, it wasn't much. It wouldn't fix anything or make anything better, but it helped.

"Feeling alright love?" Killian asked Emma with a raised eyebrow. She slapped him on the arm. Hard.

"Well apparently pirates who're hundreds of years old can't handle their liquor enough to remember simple conversations" Killian would have replied but David had fixed him with that look. Regina was fairly certain David was only doing it because he liked messing with the pirate and enjoyed the look on Killians face. Abject terror. Maybe she had more in common with Charming than first appeared.

"Charming. Kindly stop terrorising my friend" Charming smirked at her and turned his attention to Snow. Regina turned back to Emma. "Thank you Emma. It's….strange to be apologised to for once, but I appreciate it. It will take some time but I'm willing to move past this" Regina inclined her head at the woman. Emma nodded.

"Finally. Peace can now reign" Killian said with a dramatic arm gesture. Emma smiled tentatively at Regina and Regina tried her best to smile back. She didn't have it in her to remain angry at Emma. It was too exhausting. She had never expected her to actually apologise and she'd been expecting to hold on to this anger like a comfort blanket, to keep some of the hurt and heartbreak at bay but once the words had left Emma's mouth, Regina had felt all her anger drain out of her until she was mostly just tired and sad.

"Would you like to join us?" Regina asked politely and found herself hoping they'd say yes. The Charmings accepted and Regina found herself in the middle of Snow and Henry, and laughing at Killian stuck between the wall and Charming looking incredibly uncomfortable. She was surrounded by her…family and her...best friend and she thought that she might be able to handle staying in the same room as Robin this time. But Robin never made an appearance. Regina couldn't decide if she was disappointed or not. She knew it would be torturing herself to go about town hoping for glimpses of him but she...she wanted to see his face. Just one more time.

The group managed to take their time eating their meals, laughing and joking, and chatting away. Regina actually found herself….enjoying spending time with them all. Of course she knew she'd enjoy spending time with Killian and Henry, and she'd been getting on a lot better with Snow, but she was surprised to find herself enjoying the other woman's company so much, as well as David and Emma. She had expected to be an outcast. Alone looking in. But she was right at the centre of it all, conspiring with Snow, joining David in making Killian feel uncomfortable. Regina found herself realising that she not only had a friend…she had a family. Things may have been rocky for a minute, but ultimately…Emma had apologised and they seemed to be enjoying her company too. Especially when Henry started to show everyone the videos he'd taken of Killian and his reactions to the various movies they'd watched. Charming had tears streaming down his face and if Emma hadn't been on his other side, he would have fallen out of the booth laughing. Regina had found herself re-living the day through the videos and she'd had a permanent smile on her face. David had insisted on watching each video multiple times and he and Regina had started to imitate Killian in the videos, while Henry laughed and Snow and Emma looked on shaking their heads, but smiling all the same. Henry had even shown her the photo he had taken of the pair of them, and Regina insisted he set it as her background. As a reminder that she wasn't alone. That she had a friend, one who understood her and was there for her when she needed it most. Killian had immediately declared that he "wanted one" and Henry had set about creating a matching background for him. Killian had been quite proud. "Increases the beauty of this device twofold" he'd crowed while Emma had rolled her eyes.

Regina found herself quite reluctant to leave once everyone had finished eating, but soon found herself loitering in the doorway of the Diner as everyone prepared to go their separate ways.

"I'm gonna stay with Mom tonight" Henry informed Emma who nodded and ruffled his hair.

"Okay kid, I'll see you tomorrow"

Snow and David each hugged Regina, Snow longer than her husband, and both promised they'd see her soon. Wanting to be there for her, but not wanting to crowd her or force too much interaction on her.

"Call us if you need anything, even if it's just you know…groceries and you don't want to deal with all the…" David trailed off.

"Pitying stares?" Regina supplied for him and he nodded sheepishly. "Thank you" She said sincerely and David smiled.

"We're just gonna say goodbye to Granny, we'll meet you outside in a minute, and give you a ride home" Snow informed Regina and Killian.

"Actually, I'd rather walk. Enjoy the nice night"

"Okay then" Snow said reluctantly, giving Regina one last hug, before she turned and headed to the counter with David and Emma in tow. Regina, Henry and Killian all turned and headed outside.

At this point Killian had been quiet for far too long. Regina knew Killian and Emma where okay because she'd watched them in the Diner, things where back to normal with the pair, so it couldn't be anything to do with her that was bothering him. Once the door to the Diner had closed behind them she turned to him along with Henry who also apparently found the pirates silence...odd. Which is why they didn't notice the Outlaw approaching with Will and Little John.

"What's wrong with you?" Regina asked bluntly. Killian flushed.

"Oh uh….I just…..I don't really….I'm staying here. I didn't really want people to know. Not good for the reputation" Killian finally finished, lamely. Regina narrowed her eyes at him. She doubted it had anything to do with his reputation, more to do with the fact he knew no-one else in town and was uncomfortable staying there.

"At Granny's? I thought you where staying at the Charmings or something?"

"Really Regina?" Killian raised an eyebrow.

"Good point. Dammit" Regina sighed heavily.

"What is it?" Killian asked concerned.

"Now that we're…friendly, I feel I can't allow you to stay at Granny's. It's just not right. You should have a place to stay that you feel comfortable in. With a friendly face."

"Yeah Killian, kinda lonely staying at Granny's!" Henry chipped in, seeing where his mother was going with this.

"Why don't you stay with Henry and I?" she asked the pirate, "I could use the company" She added quietly. Killian's embarrassment fled. Regina was offering him a place to stay because she was a good friend, and because she had a kind heart when it wasn't clouded by darkness. But she was also lonely. Henry would be seeing Emma the next day and she'd be alone. The pair of them had been practically inseparable recently, and she didn't want to lose that. Didn't want to be alone with her thoughts and her feelings. She wanted her friend to keep her company. Killian beamed.

"I would be delighted, your Majesty" Killian said with an over dramatic bow designed to make Regina roll her eyes and fight a slight smile, before kissing her on the cheek. Henry cheered.

"YES! We're totally watching Lord of the Rings when we get back! No wait….Batman! NO WAIT…..The Avengers…..no wait-"

"No you bloody well are not you…you…you….sea thief!" an enraged voice sounded from behind the them and the three turned to face an angry Outflaw flanked by a sheepish Will and Little John.

"Sea thief? Think you mean pirate mate"

"Yes, _thank you_ Will" Robin grumbled.

"Robin" Regina murmured, her defenses crashing down and instantly revealing how fragile she was. Killian and Henry stepped in front of her, both scowling.

"Regina. I cannot allow you to have that…..that…man in your house! He's a pirate for goodness sake." Regina bristled, all vulnerability at his appearance falling away.

"Excuse me? I don't think that's any of your business. He's my friend. Besides. I'm the Evil Queen, I think we make the perfect match"

"Oh yes, I know all about your…friendship" he spat. "Honestly, I never thought you'd lower yourself to a pirate, you deserve much better"

"She does, which counts you out thief" Killian sneered. Henry shot him a subtle high five.

"Oh of course you know all the bloody hand greetings. Bloody pirate" Robin snarled.

"C'mon mate, it's just a high five, nothing complicated about it" Will tried to placate his leader, "Sorry about this Regina"

"It's fine Will." She turned to Robin. "Look" Regina said before he and Killian could start bickering in earnest, "I understand your decision Robin. I was….am, hurt that you didn't talk to me yourself, but I understand. I knew you'd choose your wife because that's the kind of man you are. It's your code. You ended things with me. You didn't choose me. I am no longer in your life. What I don't understand is why you think you still have any right to tell me who can and cannot stay in my house." she managed to keep her voice steady throughout.

"Regina, I'm just trying to look out for you. He's a bad influence for Gods sake. All he does is steal and lie and…do piratey things" Regina raised an eyebrow. "And wear...eyeliner" Robin grumbled.

"Says the thief" Killian interjected.

"Excuse me, I steal from the rich and-"

"Give to the poor, we know" Killian and Henry finished in unison. Regina cut over the bickering.

"He's my friend. He's made me very happy when I otherwise would't have been." Regina said pointedly.

"I deserve that" Robin said shamefacedly.

"Yes. You do." Regina stated simply

"Rub it in my face all you like, I still don't think it's a wise idea to invite your pet pirate to enter your home. It's not safe"

"Hey! I'm not a pet you bloody tos-"

"I am perfectly capable of handling myself, as you should know. And what am I rubbing in your face?" Regina finished in confusion.

Killian smirked, he knew exactly what Robin was referring to. Henry looked at Killian and noticed he didn't appear to be confused about Robin's odd choice of words, _Well at least someone knows what's going on_. The boy thought, just as confused as his mother.

"Your relationship with that…" Robin struggled for a word, gesturing at Killian with his hand, and then decided he didn't need one. Killian scowled.

"Look, Robin. Killian has been there for me ever since you..you made your decision. He's….I can't even begin to describe what he's done for me. I don't know what your problem is, but my 'relationship' with Killian is none of your business" Robin went to open his mouth but Regina held her hand up, taking a deep breath she looked him right in the eye. "I would prefer it, if we didn't see each other or interact with each other again. It's too painful right now, and I need time to…"

Killian rubbed Regina's back comfortingly as she trailed off, unable to finish the sentence. Killian and Henry could see the effort it was taking Regina to appear her regal self, they could see her eyes glistening. That wasn't the final straw though.

"Get your hand off her!" Robin snarled at Killian, who just smirked and moved closer. Robin took a step forward. He looked like he might swing for the pirate but he reigned it and turned pleadingly to Regina, "Regina…I…..I…..I love you" Robin declared. Regina stared.

"Oh bloody hell, what did you go and say that for?" Will groaned. "Can't you see the pirate's….agitated" he whispered to Robin. Little John took a step back as if not to be associated with such a colossal idiot. Henry displayed a level of rage that had never before been seen on his face and Killian….Killian hadn't looked quite so much like Captain Hook in a long time.

"What did you just say to her?" Killian growled. How dare he interrupt a wonderful evening, spouting out things to Regina, hurting her more.

"I said I love her. Marian being here doesn't change that. Things between Marian and I…they're different. She's different. I can't just forget about you Regina. I can't stop loving you. I am so, so sorry for hurting you, for forgetting about you. But I love you. I can't keep denying that." Regina felt tears start to spill down her cheeks.

"Please stop saying that" she whispered.

"Why?" Robin asked puzzled.

Will groaned again, "Stop being such a bloody idiot" he mumbled.

"Because. You made your decision. You chose your wife. You're probably here right now to get her food. Then you'll go back and eat together like a family. You can't just say you love me, when you chose another woman. You can't just….you can't play with my emotions like this. You can't…you can't tell me you love me, you can't. Not when you're staying with her. Not when I know you won't abandon her to this realm. You can't." Regina cried.

Henry immediately started to comfort his mother while glaring at Robin, trusting Killian to sort the situation out, the pirate hadn't let him down yet. Killian had taken in the conversation, and Regina's upset and felt himself getting angrier and angrier. Regina was his friend. He'd seen her crying and agonising over everything, Robin choosing Marian, what that meant for her, what it meant for her status as a hero, Regina had finally been becoming more herself. She'd been having fun. She'd been getting over Robin. Not completely, but enough to last a day without wanting to stay locked in the house crying, and here this idiot was approaching Regina, having the cheek to try to tell her who she could have in her house…and then telling her he loves her as if he isn't going to go straight back to his wife after emotionally crippling Regina for the evening, after ruining Regina's lovely day. Killian couldn't allow it. It wasn't good form. He made sure to tell the thief so when he swung at him.


	14. Chapter 14

"That's not good bloody form mate" Killian cried as he swung at Robin, punching the man squarely in the jaw and sending him reeling backwards."Regina had been having a bloody lovely day until you came along and had to ruin it. You don't get to be jealous. Don't get to keep an eye on her as if she's your business, when you're with your wife. If you love her, then do what needs to be done. Otherwise keep your bloody mouth shut you-"

Robins punch cut Killian off as the air whooshed out his lungs when Robin's fist connected with Killians stomach.

"What do you think I'm trying to do? But you are getting in my damn way" Robin said with satisfaction. Killian looked up at him.

"Oh…I was hoping you'd do that" snarled Killian with a smirk.

He tackled Robin to the ground. From that point on things descended in to an all out brawl. The pair threw punch after punch. Pulled on clothes. Threw insults at each other. Tackled each other in to various chairs and tables that went flying in all directions with loud crashes. There was even a little bit of scratching and if the hair had been long enough, no doubt there would have been hair pulling as well. Anything in their path went flying as they grappled with each other with total disregard for their surroundings. They'd reached the point when they where rolling on the floor and snarling at each other when the Charmings came running out of the Diner to see what was going on. Regina was standing, staring detachedly at the proceedings with tears running down her face, Henry hugging her protectively. The Charmings rushed over to her first.

"Regina? Regina what happened?" Snow asked, moving to her other side and rubbing her back comfortingly. She just shook her head. Will answered for her.

"Robin, bloody idiot he is, told her he loves her" Will said with a head shake. Snow looked disgusted, but the ever present hope she felt wouldn't allow her to not look slightly pleased.

"HE DID WHAT?! David bellowed and charged over to the pair.

"Uh oh" Emma said, following after her father.

David grabbed Robin by the scruff of the neck and hauled him off of Killian. Robin gulped. Charming no longer looked quite so….Charming. Emma quickly grabbed Killian around the waist and hauled him away.

"You did good, but Regina kinda needs a friend right now, okay?" Emma murmured to him. Killian glanced at Regina. She may have been wearing her armour but rather than looking her usual fierce self she just looked small and broken. Again. Killian clenched his fist and started to raise it.

"uh-uh"Emma grabbed it and planted her feet to try to stop him advancing on the thief.

"I got this" Charming said to him without even looking. Charming leaned in close to Robin.

"What did I tell you? I told you not to do exactly what you did. But you did it anyway and now I have an angry pirate and a devastated Queen, and a furious grandson. Not to mention my wife who would love to use you for target practice. I told you how much it would hurt Regina to tell her that, how much it would mess with her. What the hell where you thinking?" Robin looked shamefaced and heartbroken. David refused to let himself feel sympathy for the man.

"I...I was coming to find her...I wanted to talk with her about everything I...I wanted to fix things but I was….I was jealous. I wasn't thinking and Regina was going to allow that pirate to live with her….I don't know what came over me I just had to tell her before I lost her and it all came out wrong and that...that bloody pirate interrupted me before I could explain myself"

"You already lost her when you chose your wife. Did you think she'd just hang around pining after you?"

"No…I just….I'm sorry" Robin said, feeling devastated. He should have come to Regina straight away. Not tried to abide by his stupid code. He was a different person now, not the person who followed it to the bloody letter. He'd left it too late. He'd let her down to the extent she had to go out drinking with a beringed prat who..who... _dammit I can't blame the bloody pirate for this. I'm the one that's caused her to go out drinking to...to forget about me. To drown out the pain I've caused. What the bloody hell have I done._

"You will be if Killian gets hold of you again" Robin glanced to the side to see the pirate glaring daggers at him while Emma was restraining him around the waist.

"I love her David, I can't…I can't switch it off, I can't stop thinking about her. I-I was coming to tell her that I….that I wanted to be with her, that I'd made a mistake that I was sorry but then everything went wrong and I got angry and I blurted it out without having the proper chance to explain" David didn't look convinced.

"Did you tell your wife that you'd be leaving her?" Robin looked him dead in the eye.

"I stalked another woman to a bar, watched her the entire night, and then followed her home to make sure nothing happened to her, I even went against my better nature and involved the Sheriff. Do you really think I wouldn't have gone straight home and spoken to Marian?" Robin had some time to think on his way back. To come to some decisions. He dropped his gaze from David's continued suspicious gaze and stared at the ground. "Well. I deserve that. I just…I saw Regina walking away with the pirate the other night and…I knew. I knew what I had to do. Eventually." David still didn't look convinced.

"Well, I'm going to have to arrest you and take you down to the station. You'll be spending the night in a cell, seeing as you have a problem with decision making, that should help you out. Give you plenty of time to think. Decide if you really mean it. Because I promise you, if you hurt Regina again, this entire family will come after you" Robin looked to the side to see Emma glaring at him just as much as the pirate, along with Snow and Henry. Henry had clearly learned his glare from his mother. "Oh and the pirate" David added. Robin just nodded. But as David started to take him away, he realised Killian wasn't being taken too.

"Wait, what about him?" Robin gestured to Killian, "He started the fight, he should be arrested too!" Robin said indignantly. David shrugged.

"He was just protecting his girlfriend" David couldn't resist tormenting the Outlaw a little bit more. Emma leaned in to whisper to her father.

"Why are you talking like a girl from the 90's? Or...is there something you want to tell me? Like...when you said Killian wasn't your type did you mean..."

"I'll tell you later" David whispered back, cutting her off.

"Alright, let's go Legolas" David said, starting to drag Robin down to the station.

"Awesome reference gramps!" David waved his hand in acknowledgement.

"Seriously Dad, out of all the references you could have chosen?" Emma sighed and started to follow after him to help with the intake forms.

Regina barely registered Robin being dragged off by David, or his two companions slinking back the way they'd come. She had been focused on those three little words ever since he'd said them. He loved her. But why tell her, why tell her when he won't leave his wife. There was a hopeful answer to that but Regina squashed it before it could fully form. Why did he have to make it harder than it had to be. She began to contemplate if she should use a memory potion on him, make him forget all about her, or just avoid him and never leave the house again. She was oblivious to everything and lost in her swirling thoughts…and pain, until a flask appeared in front of her.

"I've got this" Killian reassured Snow and Henry, wafting the flask under Regina's nose. Regina slowly reached out and took it, then took a rather large gulp. "That's it, down the hatch" Killian said. "Plenty more where that came from"

"I….I can't…"

"I know love. Bloody tosser. He had no business toying with you like that. Not when he's determined to stick to his stupid bloody code. It's not like we're all still in the Enchanted Forest. Things are different here. Too much of a bloody idiot to realise it" Killian descended in to muttering. Henry shared a look with Snow as they both tried not to laugh. Regina roused herself.

"I'll….I'll be going home now" She said, "Henry it might be best if you stayed with Emma tonight" She started to turn away.

"Don't worry, I'll take good care of her, be right as rain in the morning…possibly…depends on her alcohol tolerance actually" Killian mused to himself as he put a hand on Regina's back and started to guide her away.

"Wait! I'm coming too!"

"Henry-"

"NO! I'm not leaving you mom, not when you need me" Henry grasped her hand as Regina smiled tentatively down at him. "Besides. We have to show Killian Lord of The Rings" Snow snorted.

"Good luck with that one"

"Why would you want to be Lord of rings?" Killian asked bemused. Regina felt the corner of her mouth tilt up as she rolled her eyes. After making their goodbyes to Snow, the trio headed for Regina's house at a slow pace, pausing every now and again as Killian pointed out constellations in the night sky above them, attempting to take Regina's mind off of what had just happened. It was quite late when they finally made it back to the mansion. Killian and Henry had spent the last part of the journey acting out Killian's fight with Robin, exaggerated as much as they could to try to make Regina laugh, but she was being quieter than usual. It wasn't long before they where back in their positions from earlier, Lord of The Rings on the screen, and Regina and Killian each supplied with the alcohol of their choice. Killian was rather more subdued this time around, only rousing himself to make comments such as "What the bloody hell is that supposed to be?" and "This is ridiculous, such things don't exist" still completely missing the point of movies and fantasy. Killian was trying to restrain himself from his obvious confusion, so as to give Regina time to think while Henry was occupied with the movie, so that when Henry went to bed, she'd be ready to talk. As the end credits started to roll Henry let out a yawn. Regina stirred.

"Bed, I think" she said to a protesting Henry.

"But mom there's two more movies!"

"Yes and these are the extended editions and we'll be here all night. Go!" she commanded. "We'll watch the rest tomorrow or something, okay?" Henry reluctantly nodded.

"Night mom, I love you"

"I love you too" Regina murmured, hugging Henry fiercely. After saying goodnight to Killian, Henry headed upstairs and Regina and Killian sat in silence while they waited to make sure Henry was in bed and asleep. Finally Regina turned to Killian.

"I thought I was doing okay you know, I had a really good day, I didn't think about Robin much at all but hearing him say he loves me…it just makes everything so much worse. I mean I knew, of course I did but I could fade that out and ignore it but not when he's standing in front of me and saying it. He chose his wife, he's not allowed to love me. To keep telling me he loves me"

"I know love. I think he was jealous, and starting to realise the error of his ways. Bloody idiot's making everything harder for himself than it needs to be" Killian and Regina both swigged in silence. Regina had, to quote Killian, 'stowed the alcohol' while Henry was here, refraining from drinking much of it. Just the odd sip. Henry may have been tucked up in bed but Regina found her enthusiasm for alcohol waning after her run in with Robin. She didn't want to be drinking away her sorrows...if she was going to drink it was going to be because it was fun. Not as a crutch. But because it made her laugh. Maybe she didn't even need the alcohol, maybe she just needed some damn fun.

"You know what. I don't want to talk about this, I don't want to dwell on this so….let's do something fun" Regina turned to the pirate.

"Why are you looking at me?"

"Because you're the pirate who has plenty of experience in fun of the drinking and humorous variety. The only type of fun I know is torture and executions"

"Good point, let's see….." Killian got up and wandered the room until he came to a stop in front of a cabinet. He opened the doors.

"Ah, you've been holding out on my your majesty!" Regina looked from the liquor cabinet to the pirate and back again.

"Screw it" she said and the pair started pulling bottles out. Regina put a spell on Henry's room to keep him from hearing any noise they'd make and the pair soon set about mixing various concoctions to try.

"I shall call this one…..The Rolly Joger!" Killian announced holding up a glass that was an unpleasant yellow colour.

"You mean the Jolly Roger?"

"No…the Rolly Joger!" Regina looked skeptical. She hadn't thought the pirate was that drunk.

"Whatever you say…."

"It's a reference to Emma and I's adventures in the past. I'll present her with this drink, I think she'll be quite impressed"

"Yeah…I'm sure she'll be super eager to taste something that looks like a cat puked it up" Regina mumbled.

"What was that love?"

"Nothing" Regina said sipping from her own glass. The contents of which where either a dark purple or completely black.

"What…is that?" Killian pointed at her glass.

"This? Eternal Misery…..The Darkest Heart…..Black Soul…"

Killian looked at her for a moment.

"How…cheerful, why don't we simply call it The Evil Queen hmm?" Regina just shrugged. The experimentation continued, drinks where produced in a variety of colours, and it wasn't long before the pair had become quite drunk. Again. Although this time, at least on Regina's part, it was just a by product of having fun, sure there was a little bit of needing to forget her pain, but for the most part...fun.

"Why are we always drunk?" Killian asked, managing not to slur.

"Because we're good at it" Regina said decisively. "And life makes it necessary sometimes. Plus...it's the funnest."

"How philosopical….philolppical…phi-lo-soph-ical," Killian had to sound it out, "of you, Regina"

"Not exactly" she muttered.

"You know….you should be a pirate, join me crew!" Regina affected a slight sneer.

"Why would I want to join your crew, you don't even have a ship"

"No….not right now. But we could always land pirate, like that blasted thief! Besides there's drinking to be done and merriment to be had, as well as adventure and…and….and….views…of….the sea" Killian finished lamely. Regina had to laugh. _To hell with it._ She thought.

"Fine, I'll join your crew!" She laughed.

"Excellent. But not looking like that"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Not very piratey is it? The boots and leather trousers can stay…but the top….." Killian appraised her. Regina raised an eyebrow. "Conjure yourself a shirt, much like mine but in white, then a corset of some kind" He instructed. Regina did as asked and soon had on a white flowing shirt, cinched in with an underbust corset made of black leather.

"Ah, much better. Now you need belts. At leas two" Regina obliged and soon had a large belt with an intricate buckle slung around her hips and a sword belt just above it.

"It's like you read my mind love, I'll have to teach you how to use the sword…..but maybe not right now" he said as he swayed.

"Not necessary pirate. I know my way around a sword"

"You do? What a pleasant surprise, I knew you'd make a good pirate!" he crowed. Regina used her magic to adjust her makeup, adding in plenty of khol. She then magicked herself a coat made of black leather, slightly shorted than Killian's but very similar. Regina donned it and Killian beamed at her.

"Perfect, now your pirate lessons can begin" he smirked at her. Regina began to regret the decision instantly.

Regina would forever blame the alcohol for the reason she found herself swaggering around her house, doing her best to imitate the "Pirate Walk" that Killian insisted was necessary. He taught her all of the slang, but she drew the line at mimicking his way of speech. She would deny all knowledge that he'd gotten her to try and she'd happily swaggered around directing her imaginary crew in a tone of voice quite similar to the Captains.

"You there….let me tell you how it works on my ship!" She said to a potted plant.

"Excellent, just the right level of authority, and menace" Killian clapped. She just about managed to pick up on the basics of sailing and….pirating. Killian told her all of the rules and delighted in using a line from his new favourite film.

"The rules are more what you'd call….guidelines anyway" Regina had rolled her eyes so hard it actually hurt. They practised making traitors walk the plank by using Regina's coffee table. They practised threats. They practised sword fighting by rushing about the mansion engaged in an ongoing duel for the better part of two hours. Regina even consented to drink large quantities of rum while Killian taught her how to play various card and dice games. By the end of their little course they where quite drunk, and fairly exhausted.

Regina woke up lying on the floor spread eagled, to see an amused looking Henry looking down at her.

"Why are you dressed like-"

"This never happened. If anyone asks…it never happened"

"Sure mom" Henry smirked. Regina looked about for her partner in crime, he wasn't too far away. He was lying on his back on the coffee table, sword dangling loosely in his hand, bottle of rum clutched in the other. Regina prodded him and he startled awake.

"STOP BLOWING HOLES IN MY SHIP!" Regina stared at him.

"Seriously? Where you dreaming about the damn movie?" Killian looked shifty and didn't reply. He spotted Henry.

"Ah, see Henry, I told you she'd make a fine pirate!" Killian spotted Henry's phone in his hand and an evil look crossed his face. "Quickly, you must take a portrait of us in our piratical finery" Regina snorted.

"You mean your everyday clothes and my finery" but she used her magic to restore them to their former glory, and then proceeded to pose for a series of photographs with the pirate, doing their best piratey poses and facial expressions.

"Say AAAARRRR" Henry laughed.

"AAAARRRRR" Regina and Killian responded, blades pointed at the camera.

"Say pieces of eight"

"Pieces of eight" they stood, nearly back to back with arms on hips and a wide stance. The photo shoot continued for a good few minutes. Henry taking pictures as Regina made Killian walk the plank, as the two duelled again, and as they shared a laugh at the chaos they'd caused the previous night.

Henry couldn't help but smile at the fun his mother was having. He'd thought things would be pretty bad when he woke up but….Killian had done as he'd promised. He'd taken care of it, he'd once again put that smile on his mom's face.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I could I would have carried it on longer, had more scenes with Regina and Killian, had more fun, had more jealousy, which is what I wanted to do. But sadly, I lost my spark for this so I've tried to finish it off as best as I can. Next chapter will be the last. I hope it and this one won't disappoint you guys.

Robin hadn't gotten much sleep in his cell. It hadn't been because of the hard mattress, he was used to cells. It had been because he'd been up all night thinking. Thinking about Regina. He loved her. He had made such a terrible mistake...he should have gone after her at the Diner. He shouldn't have let her walk away. He should have chosen her. He shouldn't have tried to stick to his stupid code. But Marian had been back. Returned from the dead and he'd become lost in memories and feelings and Roland had his mother back and he...he couldn't think straight. The next morning...he had no excuse for not going after her then. He hadn't gone to talk to her because he didn't think he could face her...he didn't think he'd be able to walk away. Her new...relationship with the pirate hadn't helped. He hadn't been able to stop the jealousy, he knew he had no right to it...he did. But he couldn't turn it off. It got worse and worse, he wanted to protect her...make sure she was safe. She was out drinking with the bloody pirate because of him. She'd turned to alcohol to escape how much she was hurting...because of him.

He should have realised it sooner. Things where different in this realm. He could help Marian without being with her. He hadn't wanted to abandon her immediately after she'd arrived. But he should have spoken to Regina. He knew full well she would have understood. He'd been a coward. The more time he spent with Marian...the clearer it was they where vastly different people. Her experiences had changed her. She'd been acting strangely and he couldn't blame her. She'd been kept locked in a dungeon, thinking she was going to die to be saved and hauled to another realm. They where no longer...compatible. It was unfair to stay with Marian out of obligation to a marriage that had happened years ago...when they where different people. Unfair to keep Marian from her opportunity to be as happy as he is...was...with Regina. He had begun to realise how much of a fool he'd been. How much he'd hurt Regina and he'd despaired about what to do. He knew he'd have a lot of making up to do...if he got the chance.

Watching her walk away with that pirate swaggering along next to her like the pillock he is..he couldn't let it go on any longer. He would fight for her. He'd been coming to the Diner to tell Regina everything...all of it. To apologise profusely, to beg forgiveness, to ask for a second chance. He knew he didn't deserve one but...he couldn't let her go. It had nearly brought him to tears more than once. But then he'd seen Regina...heard her invite the pirate to live with her...seen an obstacle in his way, one that wouldn't be easy to move. Did she have feelings for the pirate? She couldn't..not so fast. He'd panicked. He'd blurted everything out and it had all come out wrong and he hadn't even gotten to talk to Regina. Marian would be furious with him. She'd warned him. David had warned him.

_A few hours earlier._

Robin trudged back from the bar, the image of Regina and the pirate refusing to shift from his thoughts. She was drinking because of him. She was hurting because of him. Maybe she would be better off without him and his monumental idiocy bringing her endless pain. His thoughts had turned more and more morose the further away from her he'd walked. It had taken everything he had to walk away. To not follow. To not make sure Regina got home safely...that that useless excuse for a pirate hadn't...tried anything. He'd had a lot of time to think on his walk and he'd realised how much he was hurting everyone. Himself. Regina. Marian. Roland. He had to put an end to it. He was being ridiculous. This was a new realm. There where new rules. He should have embraced them. It was time to stop being a coward. He headed towards his tent, then after pausing to take a breath, he ducked inside. Marian was sitting...as if she'd been waiting for him. Roland asleep in his bed by her side. _Will. I sent the idiot on without me. He must have told her. Bollocks._ He ran a hand down his face.

"Marian..."

"Robin we need to talk" She said steadily.

"Yes...we do. I don't know what Will told you..."

"Only that you'd been out at a...a bar." She tested the word out. "I was worried that you weren't with him but he said you where fine you just had something to do" she looked at him questioningly. He sighed and sat down next to her.

"Marian...I...I love Regina. I can't try to push it away any longer, I can't stop loving her and it's not fair to either of you. I can't...I can't stay away from her any longer. I'm in love with her, I have been for a while...even when...even when we didn't quite get along" he chuckled, "She is...beautiful and brave and intelligent and...she's..." Robin swallowed. "I've hurt her so much since you've been back. I wanted to help you to...to be there for you but I could have done that without..."

"Yes. I'm sorry Marian. I truly am. Things are different in this realm and I should know that by now. I shouldn't have tried to cling on to old ways...old codes. I'm different now. I can still help you adjust to this world, you can still see Roland we can work something out but I've hurt the woman I love oer and over again and I need to make things right. I need to try to win her back. Win her away from that pirate. I...I..." Robin swiped at his eyes.

"It's okay Robin. I know. I've seen the way you look at her. I know you felt it was your duty to help me and I appreciate it but...you've only been hurting yourself."

"So...you're not angry? I-"

"I was. At first. She was the woman who had imprisoned me. Taken my child from me. I couldn't understand it. But then...while you've been away, I've heard many different people speaking of her. Of the lives she's saved of the things she's done and Roland...she's been so kind to him. I realised...I realised she has changed. She isn't the person she was and it...it was unfair of me to hold her past against her." Robin stared at her. This had all been so simple...so...so easy. Yet he'd made an issue out of it when there was none.

"What the blood hell have I done" Robin whispered. Marian looked at him sympathetically.

"Do you want to tell me what you where really up to this evening?"

"I spent the night at a bar...watching Regina with that damn pirate. She was so happy with him and I...I became jealous. Again. Quite the bad habit actually" He chuckled nervously at the way Marian raised her eyebrow. "She was quite drunk. My fault entirely. I mean...I didn't make her drink...well I did...not...not...physically but...my actions...so it was my fault but it was the pirate who was plying her with alcohol. Bloody drunkard that he is. I swear if you cut him he'd bleed rum" Robin babbled. Marian narrowed her eyes.

"What did you do?"

"Me? What makes you think I did anything?"

"You're babbling."

"So? I'm allowed to babble...babbling is...it's not illegal" Robin said defiantly. Marian just arched a brow.

"I uh...I...Then I...I called the sheriff on her because she was drunk and I was worried about her and she was with that pirate, going home with that pirate and-" Robin's rush of words was halted by Marian.

"Oh Robin" Marian shook her head. "Honestly. How could you ever think that was a good idea? In any realm?"

"She doesn't know it was me" Robin held his hands up defensively. Marian raised an eyebrow.

"Yes Robin you have changed. You've become a colossal idiot, I remember you being smarter than this" Marian snarked.

"Excuse me...I...I...I..."

"Yes?"

"Oh what the bloody hell do I do now?" He practically wailed. Marian sighed.

"You find her. You apologise profusely...possibly on your knees. You beg for her forgiveness...for a second chance. You tell her what you told me...tell her how you feel. You broke her heart. But you can fix it too. You just need to be the man you've always been. You need to be brave" Marian said. "You need to realise that some codes can be broken" Robin nodded.

"I've been such a fool Marian I don't...I don't think she'll even want to see me"

"No. She might not. But you have to try Robin. She's your soul mate isn't she?" Marian asked.

"How do you...?"

"You are aware that your men are the biggest bunch of gossips in Sherwood forest...in any forest" Marian chuckled.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you Marian...I just...I...I didn't want to abandon you after you'd just been through so much."

"I know Robin. You meant well but...you should have just told me the truth. I realise I wasn't...pleasant that night but...I would have dealt with it." Robin nodded. Roland snuffled in his sleep and the two smiled down at him.

"Thank you Marian." he said quietly.

"You're welcome. Now I think it's best you get some sleep. You're going to have a long day of grovelling ahead of you. You should be well rested" Marian smirked at him.

"I'll share with Will for the night, we'll sort out new living arrangements in the morning" Marian smiled and nodded and after giving Roland a kiss on the head, Robin exited to find Will. The man was asleep and snoring loudly, fully clothed on his bed. Feeling petty after Wills less than helpful comments earlier, Robin gave Will a shove, the man falling to the floor with a thump. He remained asleep. His snores never abating. Robin rolled his eyes, then made himself comfortable on the spare bed. Now he had spoken to Marian...gotten everything off his chest, he felt like a weight had been lifted and he drifted in to sleep easily. He'd been having a lovely dream about Regina...that is until Will rather rudely woke him from it far too early in the morning, with his loud exclamations at finding himself on the floor.

"Do shut up Will. Some of us need our beauty rest" he grumbled, rolling over and ignoring Wills scoff. He'd been unable to get back to sleep, but he laid there planning and plotting. What he was going to say to Regina...how he was going to say it...how he could make it up to her. When he'd finally risen from his bed, he'd had a plan firmly in place. But he hadn't been expecting for it to go so wrong.

Present...

Robin had spent most of the day looking for her, before coming to the realisation that she was holed up with Henry in her mansion. He didn't think he'd be able to get past the lad and the pirate so he'd waited and bided his time. He'd had Will keeping an eye on her...waiting for her to leave. He'd been hoping to catch her alone...but that wasn't what had happened. He sighed.

"Morning" the cheerful voice made him jump. He twisted his head to see David walking in to the station, Will in tow. "I hope you've finally made your decision" David said with a warning look.

"I have. I made my decision the night we talked. The night I watched her walk away from me with that...that...that..." David chuckled.

"Oh, I'm with you there. There aren't words for that damn pirate" David growled but if Robin wasn't mistaken...much of David's old bite was missing from the sentence. Robin raised an eyebrow but didn't mention it. He didn't want to find himself looked in this cell longer.

"I'm sure. I've never been more sure in my life. I had a talk with Marian...I just...I need to talk to Regina. To try to get her to forgive me...to make her see the...the..." Robin waved his hand, lost for words, "is wrong for her. Pirates are only good for one thing" Robin said knowledgeably.

"And what's that?" David asked, amusement tinging his voice.

"Womanising and...and...being piratey" Robin finished lamely. David raised an eyebrow.

"Whatever you say. I'd better let you out of here so you can go and fix what you broke" David said, jangling the keys to the cell.

"I will. I will fix everything with Regina. I'll fight for her this time David I swear it" He vowed. David leaned in close through the bars.

"You'd better. If you hurt her one more time...I'm not always so...charming" David said with a menacing smile. Robin swallowed.

"Right. Yes. Got it. Every single one of you will hunt me down and string me up. Understood the first time mate." he nodded. "I won't hurt her again" He said sincerely. David looked at him for a few moments and then unlocked the cell door, throwing it wide open, allowing Robin to exit. Which he did, forcing himself not to rush. He'd need to be careful about what he did next.

"So...what are you going to do?" David asked as he started to hand Robin back his personal belongings.

"Oh...I have an idea." David raised a questioning eyebrow. Robin chuckled mirthlessly. "Let's just say that...the pirate will be losing his smirk. Enchanted Forest rules and all that" Robin turned and started to walk out of the station. Will and David looked at each other.

"Did he just say Enchanted Forest rules?"

"Yeah...he did." Will finally spoke. "Something strange about the way he said it though...like that guy on the show with all the jumpsuits that I got him to watch. Wanted to be more modern so I showed him some." David squinted, ignoring most of what he'd said.

"Jumpsuits?" he said slowly.

"Yeah. Jumpsuits and bars...like this" He gestured at the cell.

"Prison? You mean a prison show?" David said, understanding dawning.

Will nodded. "Obviously" David narrowed his eyes, replaying how Robin had said it. _Enchanted Forest rules...rules...prison...rules...prison...rules..._ David jerked up straight. _Prison rules._

"Prison rules...he meant it like prison rules" David said. Will looked confused.

"What do you mean?"

"You know...prison rules...no holds barred. Whatever it takes. But...he said Enchanted Forest...I can't..." David trailed off in thought. Wills eyes widened.

"Oh bollocks"

"What?" Davids head jerked up at Will's tone.

"I...I was joking when I said it...I swear I was...you can't pin this on me! Besides it aint my fault he still thinks the pirate's her boyfriend." Will cried.

"When you said...what?" David said menacingly. Will gulped.


	16. Chapter 16

Robin stood in front of Regina's front door. He'd hurried there as fast as he could and now he was bracing himself for what he might see. Regina had after all, invited the pirate to life with her. Clearly things had progressed quickly in their relationship, but he had to hold on to the hope that she loved him more than she loved the pirate. They where soul mates after all. Whatever was going on with her and the pirate, it couldn't be anywhere near the same as what they had. Before he'd been a prat. His idiocy had allowed the pirate to get close to her, and the pain he'd caused her had made her open up to the guylinered sod. She clearly had some form of attachment to the pirate, but he would end that the only way he knew how. He would do what he should have done from the start. Fight for Regina.

Robin took a deep breath and strode up to the front door, banging on it with his closed fist as soon as he reached it.

"PIRATE!" Robin yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Which one?" Henry asked as he swung the door open, a smile on his face. Then he registered who was at the door. Henry scowled and blocked the door as best as he could. "Killian!" he called back in to the house. Robin stood, waiting for his adversary to appear.

"What is it lad?" Killian said as he walked in to the hallway. _Look at him, swaggering about as if he owns the place._ Killian stopped when he saw Henry's expression and followed the boys line of sight, his eyes coming to rest on Robin. As soon as the pirate looked at him, Robin levelled him with his best Look. The one he used on Will and the other men when he needed to strike fear in to them. Killian's upper lip pulled back from his teeth in a sneer. Henry gulped.

"Um...I think I just made a mistake" he mumbled, backing away so Killian could square up to Robin, and he wouldn't get caught in the crossfire.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing here?" Killian said condescendingly. Robin's back went up at the tone.

"I've come to fight for the woman I love" Robin declared. Henry peered round Killian to look at him skeptically. Henry studied his face, and Robin hoped it showed his sincerity.

"Seriously? Cos you've said a lot things you know…not really followed most of them through" Henry said with a raised eyebrow. If Robin was serious...if he made it up to his mom...Henry wouldn't stand in his way. He wanted his mom to be happy and he knew that was ultimately with Robin but if he didn't follow through...

Henry glanced to the side and saw his mom creeping in to the hallway, hidden in the shadows, the door keeping her from Robin's sight. She put a finger to her lips when she saw Henry looking at her. He nodded and watched as his mom moved closer, putting her hand on the door between her and Robin.

"I mean it. I should have done this days ago, I would have done this last night if that bloody pirate hadn't gotten in my way." Robin snarled in Killian's direction.

"I am here you know" he snarked.

"Unfortunately." Robin shot back before turning back to Henry. "I just...I wanted to look after Marian. She'd been ripped from our world...from a different time, everything was different for her and she was scared. I wanted to make sure she could settle in this world I didn't think I could just...leave her. I should know better by now, things aren't the same in this world. I never stopped loving Regina and I hate myself for hurting her. I will make it up to her but first...I have to deal with you. You're in my way pirate."

Killian smirked.

"Oh I hope you don't expect me to move"

"I'm rather hoping you won't. Much more fun if I have to force you" Henry rolled his eyes.

"Killian's gonna kick your ass you know. He already did it once, and you're kinda more renowned for using a bow...not hand to hand combat or swords or whatever." Henry looked to the side and saw his mom retreating a little down the hallway. _Guess it's time for her grand entrance_. _Thank god cos Killian is totally talking out of his ass, he could barely move a minute ago._

"I'd wager from the looks of him, he's a little worse for wear this morning." Killian's smirk widened.

"I've been a pirate captain for hundreds of years mate. Think again" Robin scowled and Henry rolled his eyes at the pirate's lie. Killian crawling to the bathroom that morning playing on a loop in his head. He hid a smirk.

Robin may be known for his archery skills but he could still fight with his fists and with a sword. He was quite adept at throwing knives too. Something he was betting the pirate wasn't aware of and he wasn't going to enlighten him. He figured the pirate would swagger about a bit, swishing his sword around, and then be taken by surprise. His arrogance working against him. Back in the Enchanted Forest anything went. Whatever it took. If he was in a mood to be honourable he would duel the pirate fairly. But he wasn't in an honourable mood. Better to do this the outlaw way, his code had already messed things up for him once. Robin's thoughts where interrupted by the sound of footsteps as another person entered the hallway. He looked up and his eyes widened.

Regina had decided to make her entrance once things between the two men started to deteriorate. She'd heard what Robin had said, and she felt for him. She knew where he was coming from. She understood. Yes, she'd been hurt...but she understood why. If it had been Daniel...she would have done the same thing. She had missed Robin so much and here he was...willing to fight for her, sure he was a little late, but better late than never. He wanted to make it up to her...he loved her. She knew he'd kick Killian's ass, the damn pirate had been crawling about and moaning as if he was dying. Robin clearly hadn't noticed how Killian had been clutching on to the door. She was fairly certain he'd have been on the floor otherwise.

"What's going on?" Regina asked, pretending she didn't already know. Robin stared at Regina's outfit. Her pirate outfit. She was….one of them now. _This is all my fault. I left her alone with that bloody pirate and he's...he's...he's bloody brainwashed her..he's..he's...dear God it's like a contagious disease._

"What the bloody hell has he done to you!?" Robin exclaimed. "I knew he was a bad bloody influence. Villain…pirate….questionable taste in attire….wears women's products…..pirate….can't walk properly...questionable taste in alcohol...has more rum than blood in his veins...pirate..." Robin checked things off as he went until Regina interrupted him.

"Not that it's any of your business, but we where just having some fun last night" Regina had no doubt Robin was serious, she could read the look in his eyes. Didn't mean she wasn't going to make him work for it.

Robin turned puce, his brain putting things together. The pirate was living here….they'd been having fun…at night….with….outfits. He'd heard Will talking of this sort of thing...role playing. Robin started to splutter. Killian's smirk couldn't be removed with a crow bar at this stage. Regina thought about smacking Killian upside the head but decided against it, he was already suffering enough from his hangover. Robin gathered himself and took a deep breath. He turned to Regina and stared in to her eyes, ignoring the leather clad imbecile.

"Regina. I've been a...monumental idiot. I had wanted to say this last night, but my emotions overruled my sense and everything came out wrong and then that bloody pirate ruined everything. Marian and I are finished. We have been since I...since I saw you at the bar. I...I followed you home to make sure you got there okay, but David and Emma found you...I uh...I called them. But don't be angry I was just worried! You'd drunk a lot and...and...you where with the pirate and I...I wanted to make sure you where safe and I didn't think you'd want me..to come near you." Regina's love for Robin and her irritation warred with each other.

"I'll still help Marian adjust to this world, with Snow's help, and she'll see Roland...we'll work something out but...I love you. I want to be with you, I want to fix everything...make it up to you. I know it may take some time but...I'm just asking for a chance. I am so deeply sorry for all the hurt I've caused you. For making you think alcohol was your only escape. I've been a great bloody idiot..set in his old ways when I should know better. I just..I panicked...I didn't know what to do and Marian was there and she needed me and Roland had his mother back and I didn't think and...and...I made a mistake. One that I won't repeat ever again, because when I make it up to you, and I will make it up to you because I love you, I will never let you go again. I'm going to fight for you, and when I win, I will make everything right." Robin said sincerely. Regina felt herself melt. She'd dreamed of this moment, hoped for it, no matter how futile it had seemed at the time. He'd left his wife and he...he loved her. He really did he wasn't just saying it like she'd thought. It had taken him a while and she understood. That had been the worst part. She'd understood his reasoning. Regina started forward. Her happy ending was right there...she...she did get one after all. She'd make him pay for everything later...they'd work everything out but for right now she just wanted Robin to hold her. But before she could say anything Robin continued.

"Killian Jones, I challenge you to duel" he declared.

"…pardon, mate?" Killian questioned, brows shooting up to his hairline.

"I challenge you to a duel. We both love the same woman. We'll settle it like gentlemen" _To an extent._ Robin thought.

"Love the same woman…what the hell is going on?" Regina asked. Henry had a suspicion brewing as he thought back over what he'd seen and overheard recently from Killian and his grandparents. Understanding started to dawn as he put the pieces together.

"Oh my God, Killian you're a genius! Did you do what I think you did? You did right? This was you?" Killian smirked at Henry.

"It's not my fault if not everyone in this realm understands certain….terms" Henry laughed with Killian, slapping high fives.

"Does one of the two of you want to tell me what's going on here" Regina raised an eyebrow at the pair, but before either could enlighten her a sword was drawn.

"Enough of this, draw your sword pirate or I'll cut you down where you stand" Robin threatened, pointing his sword at the pirate's neck.

"Might have a bit of a problem with that mate, this coat is quite thick leather….might take some hacking" Killian replied conversationally staring down the length of the blade. Regina hadn't objected to anything the outlaw had said, so Killian wasn't about to start a fight with him..especially with the way his head was pounding. _I've become a bloody light weight._

"You can't even take this seriously. Regina deserves more than you" Robin snarled. Regina narrowed her eyes. Flashes of the recent past started to stand out to her, snow's comment in particular ringing in her ears. She turned to Killian.

"Killian…did you make Robin believe that you're my boyfriend?" she asked with amusement and a little bit of menace.

"Technically I am your boyfriend love, and you're my girlfriend….all in the interpretation...the inflection…and the access to Netflix" Killian said matter of factly. Looking completely unconcerned that there was a sword pointed at his jugular.

"Will someone tell me what the bloody hell a Netflix is!?" Robin exclaimed, exasperated and not entirely following the conversation. Regina sighed and turned to Robin.

"Killian is not my boyfriend Robin, he's my friend who is a boy. Same goes for the girlfriend part. We're not romantically involved, we're just friends. He's my….my…my best friend. He's helped me, a lot." Regina said sincerely, "It would seem Killian here decided to mess with you. Make it appear as if we where….involved" Regina was finding it very hard to be angry at the pirate right now. But she would get her revenge later. She may be friends with the pirate but being romantically linked to him? She couldn't allow such rumours to circulate about her. She was the Queen after all.

"Well someone needed to sort him out. Show him what he was missing. Help him realise what he needed to do. I'd thought we might arrive at this juncture, well minus the sword part, sooner when I saw him spying on us at that bar-"

"What did you think was going to happen!?" she snapped at Killian. "Will you put that thing down" She whirled to Robin.

"I didn't think he'd bloody demand a duel, the thief's taken things a tad too far-" Killian held his hands up, eager to pass on the blame.

Robin didn't say anything, he looked like he was going to ignore her request to lower his sword, but Regina narrowed her eyes at him, and he slowly lowered it until it was point down.

"So you where jealous? The entire time. That's what was with your outburst at the Diner" Regina said thoughtfully. She wasn't angry, not really. She couldn't let them get away with this idiotic behaviour, however, and it would be amusing... "Well go on then" she nodded at the pair, "Duel for me"

"….you can't be serious love" Killian's eyes widened, and Robin's sword shot back up to the pirates neck.

"I feel like it's a fitting punishment for the two of you" Regina smirked. Noticing Killian trying very hard not to clutch his painful head.

"Mom don't you think that's kind of mean, I mean everything worked out didn't it?"

"Yes. It did. But I have a reputation to uphold. Fetch the apple cider Henry" Henry gave Killian and Robin a look. A look that clearly said "You are so screwed" before doing what his mother asked. "Now. I think we have enough space right here on the path, don't you?" Regina said conversationally.

"Regina….I'm sorry-" Killian started.

"Be that as it may... I think I should get some entertainment…some enjoyment out of this situation" Robin steeled himself.

"Be a man pirate. I know it might be hard for you, but begging a woman to save you isn't very villainy is it. Or manly." Robin smirked. "Come on pirate, or are you a coward?" Robin enunciated the last word clearly. Regina looked heavenward. _Here we go. He said the C word._

"What did you just say to me thief?" Killian spat, drawing his own sword. Robin assumed a fighting stance, sword in front of him. Smirk firmly in place.

"I said. Are. You. A. Coward?"

"Ah thief. I'm going to enjoy this" Killian snarled and lunged. Robin brought his blade up to meet it and swiped it to the side, and…Regina burst out laughing.

"Oh my God, I didn't think you'd actually do it" she said wiping tears from her eyes. "You two where trash talking and everything, so serious" Regina was howling with laughter. Killian adapted to the situation and immediately smirked.

"Should have known love. Well played" Robin just look irritated and confused.

"…..Does this mean that I won?" Regina laughed even harder. Robin smiled at the reaction. Henry unseen in the background just rolled his eyes. As everyone trooped in to the house, Henry grabbed Robin.

"If you hurt my mom again, I'm going to hurt you" Henry said.

"Aye, hurt Regina and I'll gut you with my hook" Killian growled. Henry looked at the pirate.

"….your threat's better, let's go with yours" Killian nodded and the pair disappeared in to the living room. Robin rolled his eyes and wandered in to the kitchen to find Regina preparing drinks for everyone.

"I missed you" Robin said quietly. Regina turned to face him. "I'm so-"

"You don't need to say it again Robin. I understood why you chose her. You handled things wrong. You made a mistake. We all make mistakes. I get it" Regina said. It would take a while for things to be right between them again, but Regina was glad to have the chance. Glad Robin had chosen her in the end. She of all people couldn't hold a grudge against someone for making a mistake. She'd made plenty. She was being handed another chance, one she didn't think she'd get and she wasn't going to waste it. She and Robin would need to have a serious talk, when Killian and Henry weren't around. Things needed to be said and discussed. But for now…she was happy to be in the moment. "I missed you too" she whispered. They gazed in to each others eyes, subconsciously moving closer and closer until they where breathing each others air. Robin glanced down at her lips, then pressed his own against hers. Regina gasped at the contact after what felt like so long apart, and Robin deepened the kiss, wrapping his arms around her waist as she put hers around his neck. Regina had no idea how long they'd been kissing, she was blissfully unaware of time, when she heard the voice.

"Told you they'd be making out, you owe me 10 bucks"

"I don't have these bucks you speak of, I only have gold…."

"Golds good. Actually...it's better than the 10 bucks"

Regina laughed in to the kiss and felt Robin smile.

Maybe villains did get happy endings after all.


End file.
